“Size doesn’t matter” only counts if you’re a woman comforting a man who has a small penis. It won’t count if a big breasted blonde walks through the door. Splitting your vagina open to give birth doesn’t make you smarter than your childless friends. It makes you awash in hormones with […]
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” ~ John F. Kennedy I just got a Facebook message. It’s from someone on Facebook telling me he’s putting out a book and wants me to plaster it all over the internet. He’s telling me why this will […]
Yeah yeah yeah — I am a terrible blogger. I have been finishing a new book, editing a new edition, running a school, producing a film, but fuck that shit! It is time to blog! MURDER, MAYHEM, SEX, FREE BEER! 1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Past sins. That […]
CelluloidBlonde [you are here] is the personal blog of screenwriter Max Adams: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4bfiNGWkAo] *if you are here to read about 20th Century Fox and PJ McIlvaine, that is here –> :::pj mcilvaine & goliath::: *tragically, i find it unlikely any press members posting stories that say [inaccurately] this is PJ’s website actually […]
Hmm, it appears — There is some confusion in the press about whom this blog belongs to. Let’s clear that up. Celluloid Blonde is the personal blog of screenwriter Max Adams. That is why it says “the sometimes suspect musings of max adams” right up there at the top of the blog. Also. Max […]
Dear Blonde Assassin — What is the correct way for an assassin to don her bra? Yours in Curiosity, Lingerie Loretta Dear Lingerie Loretta : I am so glad you asked. Linjitsu is a highly overlooked art. Fortunately for you and I there is a training clip yay! : :::bra linjitsu::: Love […]
Dear Blonde Assassin — Isn’t the power of the Internet, that wonderful series of tubes [maybe copper….maybe PVC] an amazing thing? I came across you as you left a comment on a WordPress blog of which I follow quite regularly. Your comment was actually a response to my comment, which led me to follow […]
Dear Blonde Assassin — They’ve banned Fireworks in my home town again. No fireworks means no risk of small fires. That means no Firemen for my Insanity In Training Cat to attack. I am so depressed. Any suggestions? Yours Truly The Dark Invader Dear Dark Invader : You do not need fireworks […]
It is a pretty award too. Yay! Frontier who is a very smart man with excellent taste gave me that award it is nifty yay! There are rules that go with this award. One is that you pass the award on to deserving and refreshing other blogs and link to the blogs. [I am […]
Say, while — I am carousing. Write me something pithy. I cannot be witty and pithy all on my own all the time here you know — especially with the hangover I am planning to have — attempt to contribute here. *write the blonde assassin at blonde_assassin at celluloidblonde dot com *yes that […]