you can take it
I was talking to a guy. He said something caustic. Arbitrary. Cutting. I can not repeat it. It was about work. He thought he was being clever I think. But to me it was just mean. And I said “Well you can not talk to me like that.” And he said all his women friends were strong clever women who could take it and he thought I could too. And I thought —
The implication I guess is strong clever women are fine when people are mean to them. They can take it. And if I am not fine well I am not strong or clever. I just can’t take it. And probably I was supposed to leap into the breach and say “Oh silly me you are right I am a strong clever woman so here hit me again.”
I told him to be nice to me or take a hike.
I guess I am a weak dumb woman.
This has happened before. This “You are only smart and strong if you defend yourself against arbitrary and reasonless assault.” I went out with a guy who took me to surprise dinner with THE SQUASH BOYS —
[I do not go out with that guy any more and please do not ask me to explain “Squash Boys.”]
One of The Squash Boys was hugely obnoxious.
Every word was underhanded cutting attack. It was like World War III over sushi which I do not even eat so it was totally a bad dinner.
After, the guy who even thought it was okay to spring Sushi With Squash Boy on me [on a dinner date — hello?] told me he told a friend dinner did not go well [he figured that out all on his own] and the friend asked if I was dumb or just could not hold my own with Squash Boy.
Here is what is odd to me about that conversation — outside I even heard about it: No one thought Squash Boy was a problem. [Squash Boy is probably distorting the space time continuum to this day.] They thought the problem was I was stupid or weak if I did not want to spar Squash Boy.
Maybe it is just me. Probably it is just me. But I do not think it is “smart” or “strong” to “take it” while someone says mean things to you. See —
You can leave it.
That is the part everyone always seems to leave out.
You. Can. Just. Leave. It.
Leaving it is better. Seriously. What is your prize for not leaving it? More dinners with Squash Boy? Get out of there. Right now. Do not even give an explanation. Just walk. There is no good reason to stick around while someone says mean things to you. I don’t care how it is masked. Disguised as clever — mean is mean. Disguised as humor — mean is mean. And taking mean does not make you strong. And taking mean does not make you smart. And taking mean does not make you clever. Taking mean just makes you tired. And that badge of honor? She can take it? Is not worth that kind of tired.