granular synthesisAre you guys aware —

Always sanitary napkins [what clueless dolt came up with the term “sanitary napkins” anyway?] have a message on the peel off wings backing that says “Have a happy period”?

They do. I checked.





I so need to be on the drugs they are taking in market research.


where the art work comes from :
that is granular synthesis by cinema cowgirl

42 Responses to wtf?

  1. I throw shit at the TV when that commercial comes on!

  2. I can’t use those things. The horror.

  3. Maybe this will be enlightening?

  4. icky!
    Not the process…that message.
    It was ICKY!

  5. I think we should petition Nike to put “Have a nice foot in your balls” on athletic cups.

    ‘sonly fair.

  6. max

    What is next? “Have a happy asthma attack” on inhalers? “Have a happy headache” on aspirin? “Have fun with anaphylactic shock” on sting kits?

    It is just wrong.

  7. “Have a happy trip to the hospital” on car airbags.

    “Have a happy flu” on cough medicine.

    “Have a happy alimony” on divorce papers.

    “Have a happy eternity” on the gates of Hell. Ok, maybe Dante’s sign was a little quotable.

  8. I meant “a little more quotable” of course.

  9. Ginny

    I think this was meant as a convoluted test for the presence of testosterone. The only way you could possibly look at that waxy little piece of paper and think, “I WILL have a happy period!” is if you are a man. And then you’ve clearly been using the pads for other than their intended uses…

  10. max

    How can a man with a gene composition stupid enough to prompt him to tell a woman with cramps, bloating, and homicidal rage in her heart to “have a happy period” even have survived to reproduce and pass that gene on?

    This is really testing my faith in Darwinism.

  11. “Have a happy asthma attack” on inhalers? “Have a happy headache” on aspirin? “Have fun with anaphylactic shock” on sting kits? ON the Floor with this, Max!

  12. “A.



    Would you prefer “Bleed you godless she-monsters”?

  13. ummm…I would.
    But my sense of humor isn’t normal.

  14. initiate

    I would specifically seek out fem-products with “Bleed you godless she-monsters” printed on them. In fact, I’d buy the entire line of schwag–shirts, knickers, chinese-throwing-stars….

  15. initiate

    And look–I’m not weird about body fluids or anything. I know about washing my hands and choose to do so often. Still, I find it kinda gross that this chick uses her menstrual blood for her artwork. Isn’t there a health concern? Or at least an olfactory concern here?!

  16. max

    “Would you prefer ‘Bleed you godless she-monsters’?”

    Absolutely. It fits the mood.

  17. I would buy “Bleed you godless she-monsters” napkins. They’d go with the pretty Japanese anime picture I’ve got. Actually, they have sweatpants with “BUM” or “JUICY” across the ass. Why not this? Max, get to cafepress ASAP!

  18. max

    LOL! Putting that on a little waxy peely off paper is one thing. I am not sure I am going to wear it on my ass.

  19. Pehaps we shoudl consider the possibility that it was a typo and they ment to print “Have a happy ellipsis”?

  20. max

    You so need more coffee.

  21. or more practice with my spell-checker . . . .

  22. and, come to think of it, there’s a really bad Scott Joplin joke hiding in all these posts . . . .

  23. max

    Good God I did not even know there were Scott Joplin jokes.

  24. There’s really only one in these circumstances, and I’ll leave it to your imagination

  25. Was that image put there to distract [the guys] from the fact that this was TMI? lol

  26. I would prefer one that says, “Park your pretty little pu$$y right here.”

    And since we are being so, er, open, I’ve got to know – why the hell aren’t you using tampons?

  27. LOL, look how Stiletto gets through your spam filters.

    Hey, you could start your own line of pads, call ’em Snazzy Rags. Give Kimberly a run for her $$.

  28. max

    You so know I am not answering that right?

  29. What about it being a typo for “Have a Happy! Period!”

  30. max

    I could maybe forgive them if it was a typo for have a harpy period. That would make sense.

  31. Well I thought for sure we’d get thrown into the doghouse for misbehavin’.

  32. max

    You know this does not just apply to feminine hygiene products. I have a friend who told me the monotony of dumb baby cliches repeated on disposable diapers was mind numbing. Who do they think is reading those diapers? The baby?

  33. I think we should start our own brand with a little more spunk to them:

    “I’m so sorry”
    “Well, at least you’re not pregnant”
    “It so sucks to be you right now”
    “You never liked those white shorts anyway”
    “Bitch, please.”
    “The alternative is menopause”
    “I feel sorry for that telemarketer guy today”
    “Kill them. Kill them all.”

    For baby diapers:

    “Ha ha”
    “Who f’ing needs this shit?”
    “Expect the unexpected”
    “This stinks”
    “At least it ain’t your grandma”
    “Smellivision 2.0”
    “Please remember you love me”

  34. Work up a business plan, JanieBelle.
    Those are all killer lines. LOL.
    My favorites, “Bitch, please.” and “Who f’ing needs this shit?”

  35. Thanks Kitty, but I’m just the creative force in this outfit – I’m a business disaster waiting to happen.

    “When I told you to put something exciting between your legs last month, I meant a Harley.”

  36. “I’d rather be surfing”
    “If we keep meeting like this, people will talk”
    “This is NOT what I signed up for at the recycling plant”
    “Crack kills y’know.”
    “Could we get a clean-up in aisle five?”
    “What have you done for me lately?”

    And we could do British variants for the UK

    “Oh, bloody Hell. Already?”
    “Piss off.”
    “Mind the Gap”

    Millions, I’m tellin’ ya’. We could be rich.

  37. My personal favorite…

    “What have you done for me lately?”

    Funny because I was telling the Old Man he needed to step up to the plate and send me to the gyno since I haven’t been in ages. I ended the convo with: “You know, you have gotten fair mileage!”

    Ok, I’m signing off…this subject is too delicious to pass up abusing!

  38. Max must be down at the patent office as we speak.

  39. I ended the convo with: “You know, you have gotten fair mileage!”

    You’re absolutely right. My daddy always told me that “If you’re going to drive it, you have to share in the upkeep.”

    Of course he was talking about a car, but…

    …huh. Maybe he wasn’t talking about a car after all. Now I’ll have to ask him.

  40. What a crack up, JB. Oops, did I say that? LOL.

  41. Lilith

    I for one can’t WAIT for the anal lube campaigne “Have a titilating prostate exam”. That sure to encite proctology appointments galore.


  42. max

    Oh wow this could go such dark places.

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