writers are horribly boring

writerWriters are horribly boring. I am sorry. If you are a writer, I hate to be the one to say. But —

They have anecdotes. Only about writing. Plot. Character. Inspiration. Agents. Page counts. Meetings. Pitches. Only about writing. And the worst. When someone has to tell you every single concept he or she ever thought up. Not in one sentence. The whole pitch. Like the meeting pitch. [A meeting pitch lasts an hour.] Followed by pitch. Followed by pitch. Followed by hello another freaking pitch.

[There is a reason I fear and loath the phone.]

Worse than pitches from when someone was thirteen years old moving forward to the present though? Which once in a while is actually minorly funny?

[For the wrong reasons.]

Post it blog posts. Ahhhhh!

You get post its are little yellow squares of paper, right?

•I used post its to map my story today.
•I photographed the post its that are mapping my story today.
•I am wondering if these post its are working mapping my story today.
•I am perving out on the post its tracking my story today.


You know engineers who have the biggest geek rep on the planet second only to maybe UFO aficionados are not even so geeky or boring they publish photos of freaking post its you know that right?

Jeezu. Just stop that. I am a writer. I do not do that it is freaking embarrassing you do stop it right now.

*In our next episode of writers are boring we will address “moleskins are glorified tablets.”

where the art work came from :
that is writer’s block by florin firimita

31 Responses to writers are horribly boring

  1. I use post-it’s as coasters, sometimes I use them as bookmarks sometimes I leave a stack of them in with my cat’s herbal refreshment jar ( that’s catnip ) for a week then I wad them up and throw them under my furniture and watch the little guys go nuts trying to get them out.

    I haven’t used them for writing.


    I use my IMAGINATION for that ;-)

  2. ???

    I’m afraid I’ve never meet any writers who fit your post here… sounds to me like you mean the online RPG’ers, and writers who write for e-zines (neither of which I would consider to be REAL authors). Oh well.

    I do question the post-it note thing.??? Writer’s writing on post it notes? That is so… I don’t know… weird? I would think they would get in the way of your flow of thought. I write between 7,000 to 10,000 words a day, roughly 25 sheets (yeah, I write long hand… so shot me). Could you image how many post-it’s THAT would take! LOL! :)

    You do raise up an interesting question though: Are writers boring? I must research this and find out more.


  3. Let me tell about this script I’m…oops, wrong blog. Nevermind.

  4. aj

    You’re meant to do a story map?

  5. Sophia

    No silly, that is actually a myth. Besides, what do you need a story map for if your protag is dead by page 53?

  6. Map? Did someone say “map?”
    I could always use one of those.

  7. max

    Um, Eelkat, not to hold up any mirrors but when is the last time you posted something on your blog not about writing?

  8. ROTFLMAO man that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day re: last comment

  9. aj

    I am now so tempted to go look at Eelkat’s blog. See what you have done? You know I hate blogs totally about writing, yet I am still going in. Sigh.

  10. max

    Oh if you think that is scary, have you looked at the calendar?

    Four. Days. Till. Susan.


  11. I quite like my moleskine but yes, I do think that they might be a tad overrated. I do like that the one I have has magically thick paper so I can not only write in it, I can paint as well and not worry about curling pages or paint soaking through.

    Post its are not good for painting.

    I’m just sayin.

  12. Y’gads–I am imagining an engineer role playing being a writer on post its. I am crying softly in my early morning stupor.

  13. max

    You know you have a secret stash of post it paintings, Ms. Pants.

  14. petecrow

    Jeez, Max. I adore writers and find them anything but boring. The writers I know are busily chronicling the human spirit from all different angles, and when they are good at it (you come to mind) writers bring unique perspectives that frequently stop others in their tracks. Spending time with writers is far interesting than covering local mafia or shuttle astronauts (err, okay — shuttle astronauts recently got more interesting) …

    While I’m not lurking, if I may return briefly to your post on the Nicholl: You may or may not know that Raymond De Felitta (1991) illustrated his winning Nicholl script with pictures. You also may recall that I pecked mine out in seventeen days and then shuffled the scenes together like a deck of cards leaving out a crucial scene. Neither of these transgressions probably could win today, but they happened once, and, heck, Hollywood is Hollywood and everything happens in Hollywood. Or it once did. Or it soon will.

  15. I do have a secret stash of mini paintings, actually. Some are smaller than post its. :-)

  16. Eddie

    So, what you’re saying is that if I’m already boring, then I’m halfway to being a writer?

    Sweet! Thanks, Max.

    Are writers delusional too?

  17. aj

    Four Days Till Susan. I am already maimed from the knees down, that woman cannot hurt me anymore.

  18. max

    Are you mad? Taunting Susan only days before we have to go in there? You still have your thumbs.

  19. I have yet to visit Susan. I will have to take a look, though I might have to fight her if I disagree, and that could prove to be ugly. We are probably from different esoteric camps. Might give new meaning to “sparks flying”.

  20. max

    Cool. You go first, Lulu. You can take her. Just think cage fight. I know you can do it.

    [Pete I am trying to decide whether I should say good job coming out of lurk mode or what are you thinking saying something like that every person who ever slaved over a Nicholl script is going to take a hit out on you for that.]

  21. Okay I can see using post-its to map out a story. But photographing them? I am confused, I tell you…

  22. max

    I have seen the post it photographs. I would not make something like that up.

  23. Yea, that’s a great idea–I can cage fight her!! Wham, Wham. Left, right, kick, kick. I bet she’s quaking. If she’s really good, than her prediction under her own sun sign should say something like “you may get your ass kicked this month, so watch out.” Hear that, Susan? This is a test.

    I used to paint landscapes on blown out chicken eggs. Speaking of tiny paintings.

  24. Oh sure, there are post-it photographs and index card photographs all over the place. I’m guilty as charged!

  25. max

    You are the moleskin gladiator too. It is a good thing you post about Peter O’Toole too or we would have to break up.

  26. I post about all sorts of things! I occasionally get chiding emails from people telling me I shouldn’t write about politics and offend people; I should write about writing.

    And I don’t like to say it out loud (since sometimes the people telling me to write more about writing often are people who generally write about writing themselves) but I find general posts about writing in general are generally (yawn) boring. Been there, done that.

    I write about what I find interesting. Few people will find it interesting but the wonderful thing about the internets is that always some geek out there who will!


  27. max

    That is a pretty long post when you could just give it up and say “Yes I am the moleskin gladiator.”

  28. Of course I’m the moleskine gladiatress!

  29. max

    There is something really wrong when I say something is bad and boring and you are reveling in it with that many exclamation points Pooks. That is enough friskiness over boring posting from you scoot.

  30. wrong on engineers

    right about writers (poke)

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