who can read a balance sheet anyway?

Today I called —

The electric company. Something bizarre has been happening to my bill. Every time I pay it, it doubles. This is not how bills are supposed to work but I have been pretty busy so I have been putting off making this call but eventually fear of having my electricity cut off forces me to make the call when the $500 bill hits.

I get this service person and I say, Listen, there is something drastically wrong with my bill. She asks what. I say, every time I pay it, it appears to go up instead of down.

She asks the name on the account. I tell her. She asks my name. I tell her. She gets very suspicious and makes me verify my identity about five different ways before she relaxes and starts sounding friendly again. [She was really not going for “Max” for a while there.]

She says, Ma’am, that is a credit. I say, I don’t understand? She starts explaining that they refunded my deposit so my bill started being a credit instead of an amount due. I say, Wait, so this means I don’t owe you $500, I have $500 on account with you guys like a bank?

She says, I don’t think you’ll owe us anything for a while here.

 

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It is too bad I can’t write checks on that damn electricity account.