what i learned bowling

bowlingEven a novice can get a strike. Bowling shoes come in more attractive collors in smaller sizes. Copernicus did not design the bowling scoring system. Bowling balls are not fingernail friendly — though someone in Texas is no doubt working feverishly to remedy this. French fries and bowling do not mix — though, much like skating rinks, it appears you can count on fries being pretty good and everything else being pretty bad at the bowling alley food stand. And, after staring at a nine pound bowling ball, not to mention repeatedly lifting and hurling it down a long, wooden macadam at wavery, distant pins, I am convinced I never, ever want to give birth. Nine pounds, that is the size of a baby, right? Holy cats! I had no idea.


where this came from :
seemaxrun other thoughts

25 Responses to what i learned bowling

  1. max

    Maybe I should put a warning on that one for Sophia. Hmm.

    Sophia, don’t read that one!

    [did it work?]

  2. I learned that beehive hairdos live and blue eyeshadow are not things of the past…they are very much alive in my local bowling alleys.

    That’s what I learned on my last trip to ” the lanes ‘


    Anita Marie

  3. Sophia

    Too late! I’ve already read it. Ouch! And I’m already picturing nine pound newborns rolling and knocking tenpins down. Ouch ouch!

  4. Sophia

    I love your spontaneous reactions. LOL!

  5. The last time I went bowling, I learned that you are not allowed throw the ball for distance down the lane. You are not allowed to do it overhand and you cannot shot put it. It doesn’t matter if your friends dared you to or not and they certainly don’t care how much you’ve had to drink. Tossing bowling balls is frowned upon and will get you kicked out.

  6. On my very first date with my husband (also my first time bowling) the ball flew backwards out of my hand.

    Damn, is that your belly?

  7. aj

    Kitty, translation: I suck at bowling

  8. max

    Has anyone else done the trip down the alley when you do not manage to release the ball and it just pulls you straight on along with it?

    Not that that has ever happened to me or anything I just read on a bathroom wall that sometimes happens.

    Kitty, no, that is some other woman in my pants and my belt who has the stomach I would have if I got off my butt and did my crunches like I am supposed to.

  9. “Has anyone else done the trip down the alley when you do not manage to release the ball and it just pulls you straight on along with it?”

    You need to eat more fries. [[[whistling]]]

  10. max

    Wow that is total sass.

  11. Okay, you should have a cute belly button piercing. With a big needle.

  12. max

    I should shake this thing that has been dogging me since Christmas and do my crunches. That does not require needles. Jeez.

  13. I like the way Tommy bowls–it sounds much more interesting. I think the last time I went bowling I got a 23 or something. I am the queen of suck in bowling.

    I did not know that bowling balls weigh 9 lbs–my daughter weighed 9lbs 10 oz at birth–that explains a lot.

  14. Trenchy

    I have been bowling about 4-5 times… each time it seems that we end up at a strip club.


    Perhaps I should join a league.

  15. max

    The popularity of men’s bowling night just took on new significance for me.

  16. Trenchy

    You have no idea how naive I am… it took me three times to figure out that “going bowling” was (partially at least) a metaphor for throwing strikes with silicone.

  17. max

    I am suspicious Trench. You work in an E.R. Just how naive could you be?

  18. Trenchy

    that was when I was an intern… I have only been one time since, but I spent a week there with two nurses THAT night.

    Life Lesson: strippers like female nurses in scrubs much better than male physicians in scrubs.

  19. Okay, I had three (count ’em, THREE) app. 9 pound babies. I am so glad I didn’t read this post before that happened, especially the two that were natural, especially the one that was natural if you don’t count having a sadistic doc speed up your labor with pitocin as unnatural. Bastard.

    BUT — on a different note — I also just discovered that my RSS feed stopped picking up this blog, and I have missed way lots of it. DAMN RSS FEED!

    Or maybe when I changed all my other links from blogspot to wordpress, I forgot that one?

    No. That couldn’t be right.

    I want french fries.

  20. I have never seen a bowler that looks like that picture.

    [I also have not bowled since I was a kid living in dreadful surburbia]

  21. I’ve learned that bowling is th best sport ever because you can do it almost as well drunk as sober, what other sport is like that?

    I also recall reading that of all organized, recreational sporting leagues, bowling leagues have the highest agregate IQ. So, I can be drunk, still bowl fairly well, and hang out with people that can teach me something (if they’re not puking). Not bad.

  22. I’m right handed but I bowl better with my left hand. Go figure.

    Bowling always reminds me of The Big Lebowski, so watch out, Max!

  23. I can’t believe I forgot that, another reason bowling is the best sport: The Big Lebowski (the Indian Runner of sports{?} movies)

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