we need a new label system
Partners/lovers sitch has been in trouble a long time. A friend’s “boyfriend” died. That was the label for him since they did not live together and were not married, he was “boyfriend.”
They were a couple though for seven years. Hello? “Boyfriend”? For someone you have shared a bed and your life with, if not your electricity bill with, for the last seven years?
That just does not work.
Someone tried to fix this a while back coming up with “significant other.” But that is just an embarrassing term. I flinch any time I hear or use it.
Maybe we could do it the way universities do it. Use titles. Various titles establishing degrees of relationship. Like, there is mother or father of my children. I know a lot of people who are not married but have children. Surely they cannot be boyfriend/girlfriend. Creating another human must be more significant than that. Then a degree of attachment. Like, this is the only person I am dating versus this is one of several people I am dating. Then, length of time. You know, seven years? That is significant. I am thinking we should do it like the Germans do it too.
The Germans are very formal and good with degrees. Like you cannot just say doctor, you have to say professor doctor doctor and list every single degree there to be polite in German. I think that would really work in this sitch. Father of my child/lover of seven years/the only person I spend time with romantically is just much more accurate than “boyfriend.”
I am going to work this out in a graph and come up with flippy names. It will take a while. I am not so good with graphs. [Though pretty good with flippy names.] This must be fixed.