This survey swiped liberally and without apology because I am just like that from Rachel.
1. Do you like anyone? Very few people.
2. Do they know it? Oh hell no no one needs that kind of power.
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Had someone buy you something? Yes thank God for female friends.
2. Bought something? Food and rent, Baby, food and rent.
3. Gotten sick? Yes and my eggnog love has been sucked dry for life.
4. Been hugged? Oh you madman. It is germ season.
5. Felt stupid? Regularly. There is a name for that. It is called life.
6. Talked to an ex? Hell no. That is no way to start the new year.
7. Missed someone? Yes. He had four paws and a tail.
8. Danced crazy? Yes, New Year’s Eve on the roof. Yay!
9. Gotten your hair cut? No and the neighbors are plotting an intervention.
10. Lied? I am sure so but it comes so natural nothing really stands out. Wait, you mean to other people?
HAVE YOU EVER. . .
1. Said “I Love you” and meant it? Sure. Wow was I wrong.
2. Given money to a homeless person? Oftener than is really a good idea.
3. Waited all night for a phone call that never came? Does getting black out drunk count as waiting?
4. Sat and looked at the stars? Sure but those little bastards look back that is suspicious behavior if you ask me.
5. Do you swear? Exactly what the fuck do you mean by that?
6. You’re happy with your hair? In my universe, the correct question is, Is my hair happy with me?
7. Do you like to swim? Say, was this survey written by a Golden Retriever?
8. Call a friend when you’re bored? No. I blog to avoid human contact.
9. Flowers or angels? Flowers? Angels? Are you on goddamned happy pills?
10. Gray or black? Gray. [That is my suave attempt to convince the universe I am struggling for harmonious balance. Crafty, huh?]
11. Color or black and white photos? Black & White is gray too doofus.
12. Lust or love? At this point I would settle for lust. Big lust. Huge lust. Really amazing shocking rock hard abs slam you up against the wall sweat till you break… um, maybe we should skip this one.
13. Sunrise or sunset? Midnight, Baby, Midnight.
BONUS VALENTINE’S QUESTIONS:
1. You have a valentines planned out to have? No. Excuse me while I sharpen this razor blade and check for Hemlock in the pantry.
2. Do you like having a valentine? I am sorry that journal is in storage.
3. Does someone like you currently? Only the ever-changing cast of stalkers.
4. Are you even worried about the upcoming holiday? Worried no. Suicidal yes.
5. What’s the best gift to receive on the day? The Imaginary Boyfriend. Doy.
[Say, is there a special prize for the bonus questions? I missed that part. Also, my answers and Rachel’s answers are so damn similar at times there was just no point changing them they were the same answer. I am checking for scars where an attached twin may have been surgically removed at birth.]