time zones


mosbacher corset by horstI am asea in email trying to —

Sell me a car, give me a student loan, find me a college, find me health insurance, and, most importantly, hook me up. Apparently, there are singles all the hell over dying to meet me and I must click those links immediately and find my soul mate though apparently there must be like three hundred gadzillion soul mates out there judging by the volume of the email.

And in this mass of all that screaming email telling me to date and date now, I go hunting for one email from someone 2,370 miles away who is geographically and emotionally… difficult.



where the art work came from :
that is mosbacher corset by horst

43 Responses to time zones

  1. I think those “find your soulmate” sites are pure bullshit. It is supposed to be fate, not computer personality quizzes.

  2. max

    There is some logic to cognitive love planning and hunting. People work at their careers and then lie on the sidewalk wating for “fate” to arrange their love lives. Which seems arbitrary and contradictory.

  3. A Chapter Three sender? Cos I don’t want to have to kick you, ya know. (Don’t suppose you’re up for a travel to San Diego over Memorial Day weekend?)

    I always get the spam about refinancing my house. You know, the condo that I rent. Dude, I don’t want to refi. She hasn’t raised my rent in 5 years. I’m not rocking that boat!!

  4. max

    Are you going to San Diego? When is Memorial Day weekend? I am not good at keeping track of holidays.

  5. One of those days. I thought my list was hectic. “emotionally difficult” Why god why? Where’s the honey moon period of infatuation and lust?

  6. “I go hunting for one email from someone 2,370 miles away who is geographically and emotionally… difficult.”

    Oh girl, you can’t be admitting that in public!

  7. max

    Am I tragically transparent?

  8. Considering how many writers/bloggers that come here I don’t think there’s much we haven’t admitted to…is there?

  9. max

    I am holding out on the wax issue. I have some restraints.

  10. Yeah, I’m going out for a visit. (I miss home.) I’ll be in there Thurs 5/24 – Wed 5/30.

  11. max

    I will put that on the calendar I do not know what I will be doing in May but it is a possibility.

  12. Horst was great, Salgado is fantastic, and let’s not forget about Newton.

  13. max

    Something went wonky with the Newton link.

  14. No, tragically lovesick!

  15. aj

    Just feel blessed you are not inundated with “Sour Cream Ornament” spam.

    Oh yes, you read right, it is back.

  16. max

    Oh no. Not again.

  17. I have never waxed (except philosophically), but I’ve had a really embarrassing chemical burn. I suppose that shows that I have no restraints.

  18. BTW, be really cautious about attachments in spam. The Trojan.Peacomm trojan horse is back in a spam storm, and has a tendency to do some really nasty stuff to your system.

  19. I feel so ripped off. I hardly get any spam.

    However, I still go looking for that email…

  20. Are you talking about an ex? I am cluesless on your last two posts. I can’t give advise about men and relationships. Just good luck and I’ll copy you if you figure it out. : )

  21. max

    Um. No. Not an ex.

  22. Well, then you are not breaking rule number one.

  23. Here’s a link for you, Max:

    I got my insurance through them.

  24. Brut

    Just for the record, it is 2472 miles as the crow flies… and I am not difficult.

  25. max

    Brut, send vodka and expensive shoes.

  26. Brut

    I have absolutely no problem with sharing my grey goose with one of the most desirable women in Hollywood. But, that shoe thing is scary. Exactly what is your definition of “expensive?

  27. max

    Oh you are a sweet talker.


  28. Brut

    Dolce is very doable. I was more concerned with something like Christian Louboutin.

  29. max

    Yay! Dolce is my favorite. I do not really have feet I have little flippers so I cannot wear those strange long thin shoes.

  30. Oooh la la! Max likes couture! (Shh! Don’t tell AJ).

    Dolce handbags are dreamy, too.

  31. Brut

    “little flippers”… that is so, er, um so something or other

  32. “Dolce is very doable. I was more concerned with something like Christian Louboutin.”

    Man I hope that was a chick.

  33. “Oooh la la! Max likes couture! (Shh! Don’t tell AJ)”

    She lives in L.A., I suppose I can make cultural allowances.

    *as a point of reference I should add I do not bribe, and am exceedingly difficult.

  34. max

    “She lives in L.A., I suppose I can make cultural allowances.”

    Good thing it would be asking a lot to ask me to give up shoes.

    Where have you been, difficult man? Fighting, curling, or carousing?

  35. “Where have you been, difficult man? Fighting, curling, or carousing?”

    I’m not much of a curler; don’t really have the patience for it.

    There has been a fair amount of carousing and fighting[1], which has left me satisfied but somewhat worse for the wear.

    *1 if being a grappling dummy/punching bag for pro fighters counts as fighting.

  36. max

    That counts. Those bags fight back. So do those damn dummies those things can take a man down.

    I hope you thought of me while you were carousing.

  37. max

    I am about to be dragged out of here but I can be late if you can play. Probably you are out the door though en route to role playing games with cats in feline relocation programs or things other.

  38. Those cats are pussies.

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