things to do instead of writing
Wash clothes.
[Make sure it is the hand washables, they take longer.]
Do dishes.
[Is it wrong to pile dirty dishes on top of a load of clean dishes because you are too lazy to unload the dishwasher?]
Bundle all recyclables. In Christmas paper. Make pretty bows.
[You thought that stuff in my profile was made up didn’t you?]
Reshape your eyebrows. [Do not do this too many times, or you will be drawing new eyebrows with a magic marker.]
Draw new eyebrows with a magic marker.
Sweep up dust bunnies. Give them names. Teach them to box.
Taunt your pets. Tell them they were adopted. And you got them used.
Change the message on your answering machine. Be really inventive.
Change message on answering machine back when “Jumbo Bob” proposes to your machine.
Make the potatoes in the pantry do little tricks. Wearing interesting outfits. [You remember those outfits you made for the potatoes last time you were supposed to be writing?]
Isolate one potatoe from the rest and taunt it. Give it a really bad name. Hewbie Griggs. “Poor Hewbie. The other potatoes won’t play with you.”
12 Responses to things to do instead of writing
You too, huh? I was just thinking the same thing, when I need to write my kitchen gets a good scrubdown and I don’t even complain about having to do it.
Wait, I wasn’t thinking that, I was doing it. Kitchen clean. Final Draft time.
“Draft”… makes me think of “war” and “forced” and…nevermind, where’s those potatoes? They need names.
And little outfits. Do not forget the little outfits.
Taking those little pink pills again Adams?
Oh you are just tiffy you only have 48 hours left to snap off another shot of the car radio.
[coughcoughslackercoughcough]
Am not. Hmmph.
Hi Max.
I’d like to wish you a happy new year by saying that i like your blog, and your way of expressing yourself.
Happy New Year to all of you (you, your potatoes, the answering machine etc)
Thank you, Ebit. The potatoes say to wish you a happy new year too. Well, Hewbie does. The other potatoes say you have to dress better if you want to hang with them.
I would rather write than do any of those things. Sad, huh?
:-)
Fear not, Ninja Michele. Five or six more scripts and you will have a potatoe circus too.
Does a dust bunny count as a pet?
Also, ever hear of the “gentle cycle” so you can be assured your delicates won’t incur the same wrath your jeans and towels do? Or is your gentle cycle like mine, treating all your clothes one and the same?
Absolutely. Meet Bartholomew. He can really box.
[Wait, the washing machine has a gentle cycle? Oh you whacky kidder.]