things i learned in the woods


Sometimes city life —

Gets to me and I start thinking romantic thoughts about the country. Then I must pull out little reminders for myself absence makes the heart grow fonder and in reality the country is not for the faint of heart. Ever.

One of those reminders is —


Things I Learned in the Woods

Mac G4’s do not plug into DC power.

Poison oak is not thwarted by sunblock.

To you, that old wood pile looks like a nice shady spot to sit. To 5,000 wood scorpions, it is home.

“Oh that looks like a nice harmless garden spider to me” is not a Winston Churchhill quote.

“Perhaps raccoons will stay out of the cans if I put them on the porch” sounds good until you are nailing up all new porch screens.

Dogs do not believe you when you say “lilly ponds are not fun.”

Human skin is not the ecology they mean when they label laundry detergent “ecologically friendly.”

Skunks do not turn their backs when they attack — but they do a nifty tap dance.

Dominoes does not deliver to “the last house past the big rock on your left.”

Cats think all those stories about bears are made up till they meet one.

Cats can outrun bears. You had better be wearing Nikes.


where the art work comes from :
that is from bo madsen

0 Responses to things i learned in the woods

  1. Once I saw on ebay this military-type solar cell rollable charger for laptops.

    I cannot remember if they had the MAC plug adapter.

    Well 5 thousand scorpions are enough for me not to camp in their territory — but where on earth is this incredibly savage place you visited I wonder — Borneo?


  2. max

    Oh that is Northern California.

  3. Kym

    Other things you learn in the woods

    That hissing is not always the waterline (sometimes it is a rattlesnake)

    Waterlines not buried, freeze in winter–for two weeks (human beings should not go 2 weeks without showers)

    UPS does not deliver to “the last house past the big rock on your left.”

    Some stores will not sell you stuff if UPS does not deliver to your house (Isn’t this placism?)

    You may be a raging liberal but you will soon consider changing your stance on gun control when you realize that the nearest police officer is over an hour a way and the rattlesnake is sometimes unwilling to move from in front of your door.

  4. Dominos doesn’t deliver to Funeral Homes either- even during the day.

    They are such wussies.


  5. brut

    that was fun to read, Max. thank’s for sharing.

  6. On the other hand, the wood fire is cozy. The cat is on my lap. The dog is at my feet. The generator has the computer glowing while the rain outside is falling. All I can hear are the tap of my fingers on the keys and the drip of rain off the roof. Sometimes, living in the country is romantic.

  7. Max

    It has its charms at times. [smile]

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