the pretend girlfriend


I go to dinner —

With my friend Beauford.

[His name is not even Beauford but I like to be somewhat discreet talking about others sometimes and also I do not know anyone named Beauford so that works.]

We are talking. At the end of a sentence he says “my girlfriend.”

I stop chewing. The girlfriend is new to me. I say, Wait, back up. What girlfriend?

[My friend Beauford even dating is new to me.]

There is a girlfriend now.

I say, How long have you been seeing her?

A year.

And I have never heard about her before.


I think some of my guy friends do not tell me about women they date because there is a tacit pretend romance between us even if they and I are not romantically involved.

I do not know what the dynamic is there. Am I a pretend girlfriend?

The girlfriend must be serious. She is important enough to bring up now. Maybe I am not like a pretend girlfriend. Maybe I am like parents. You only bring a girl home to meet the parents if you are planning on keeping her.



where the art work comes from :
that is from bibi’s circus

0 Responses to the pretend girlfriend

  1. Failure to bring up women a guy might be dating is normal (or guys a woman might be dating for that matter)… Failure to ever mention a serious steady longtime girlfriend/boyfriend is odd.

  2. Guys tend to shy away from commenting about their dating relationships around their female friends (unless they’re seeking advice). Banter about the girlfriend seems to mess up a male/female friendship – from the casual, easy-going relationship a man and woman can share as friends to something that becomes overtly staccato and professional.

  3. Sarah

    You’re much more positive about it. I’d think he was hiding it because he was secretly afraid I was in love with him and didn’t want to crush me, or figured he’d keep me in the dark because as I’m so in love with him, it’d be nice to have a back-up plan.

    Of course this probably stems from the fact that I’ve met some really assholio men before.

  4. max

    Wow, Sarah, that is twisted.

    I must be like a Golden Retriever or something, it never occurs to me someone might think something is wrong with me, I wonder what is wrong with the girlfriend.

  5. I’ll bet now he mentions her more now that he saw you didn’t get upset when he did get around to bringing her up.

    Doesn’t surprise me it took a year- it’s a guy thing.

    I’m just guessing at this, but unless you ask you’ll never know for sure.

  6. max

    Oh he is smarter than that there would be no reason for me to be upset we are not like that. Probably it is one of those goofy things where you do not think to say something and then think maybe you should but now it will look funny you did not earlier and finally it is downright awkward and weird you have not except it is a vicious circle now and you do not know how to bring it up without it being weird so you just do not bring it up…

  7. For some guys, even saying the word “girlfriend” is a big deal. It took husband 2 years to use that word with me.

  8. Wow, and you were married?

  9. Pooks, no, lol. 2 years to get the girlfriend moniker. Another 6 to get the damn ring.

  10. max

    It did look like the word tasted kind of funny to him.

  11. Sarah

    Max, that’s because you’re far more balanced than I am.

    I’m perfectly okay with that. That’s why I have a shrink and happy pills.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *