the perfect job


big black bootsOkay. So now the strike is over —

What a lot of people do not get is, for most writers, going back to work actually means going back to looking for work. See, for feature writers, the strike for most people did not mean stopping work. It meant you just could not even look for work.

[Kind of not steady employment, the arts. And to be knocked out three months when you cannot even look for the job, let alone nail it, well, that is a hardship.]



I have just found this other job. Holy cats! This is a great job. Check it out :

Job specs : Work vampire hours, take no shit, bust balls, wear fabulous clothes, attack people inferior to you, then tie them up and ignore them and get paid $185 per hour plus tips.

Plus tips!


That so beats out writing. I mean, it has all the benefits of writing. [Work vampire hours.] But THEN! Then, you get to mock people inferior to you [hello suits, no offense, but hey, can you write scripts?]. Tie them up! Ignore them! [Good-bye notes yay!] And also there are tips and —

Fabulous clothes!


Listen, I own fabulous clothes. Do I get to wear them? No. Because I am a writer and am required to look like “a writer.” AKA a university professor soaked in suede elbow patches and red wine.

Ask me how much fun that is?

Ask me how many freaking dates you get asked on in that attire?

That is right.


I am so going for the new job. Yay!


where i found this job :
i got that at rain’s and i will wrestle you for it —
also i will win you nancy boy

where the art work comes from :
that is hotel paradiso 2 by britcat100

33 Responses to the perfect job

  1. Best of luck with the new job. If you get it, you owe me a nice dinner. Or at least a long, boozy one at Chez Jay’s.

  2. Please tell me there is no pole or dancing involved with this job.

  3. max

    Rain, you so get dinner.

    Kitty, no pole dancing. [wink]

  4. max

    Doesn’t it though?

  5. max

    Wait. I just saw the link. Woe. You whoredog.

  6. Kym

    And you don’t have to worry about what to wear for Halloween–you can just wear your work clothes.

  7. max

    I was going to say this whole outfit dilemma was problematic, what with the church, Halloween, and the job, but somehow, these are all coming together. Hmm.

    Do you realize I let a beatuful man walk out of my bed tonight? I am all undone by my own fragility so how dumb is it to be playing with outfits? Sigh.

    Okay, give me me a moment, I will snap out of it, but I sure wish the big black birds would stop singing right now.

  8. Go for it, Max – at last a job that you can really get your teeth in to.

  9. max

    Oscar you know you go to hell for puns that bad right?

  10. dear god max. do you have a Reno job?
    dance on tables and have men throw your clothes back AT you?
    oh wait. that’s my job.

  11. forgot to say… awesome image on this blog!

  12. californiablogging

    I dream job if ever…….cash for being schmexy and cool. Brilliant!

  13. It’s all yours Max-

  14. Jayzus, Woe, I read the guardian every day and I missed that. Off to blog it now, though.

  15. Kym

    Max, Since you are serious about this new job, a fellow blogger received an estate sale ad that will help you gather the tools you need for your new trade. Warning! They might be expensive.

  16. Kym

    Max, Since you are serious about this new job, a fellow blogger received an estate sale ad that will help you gather the tools you need for your new trade. Warning! They might be expensive.

  17. Kym

    Oops on the double.

    I realized that I had sent the blogger’s site instead of their post. Thought I had caught it in time but didn’t.

  18. max

    A spanking bench? Yipes.

    [Hey even knowing about that estate sale so takes you out of the good girl bracket you know that right?]

    Technically it seems to me this job is about NOT catering to others so if some mamma’s boy wants a spanking bench he can bring his own and count himself lucky to do it.

  19. Kym

    I’m pretty sure knowing you takes me out of the good girl bracket but I’ll go to church someday and repent.

  20. max

    “I’m pretty sure knowing you takes me out of the good girl bracket”

    Hey! Jeez that is such sass.

  21. Kym

    How safe is it to continue to sass? You haven’t bought a whip yet have you?

  22. max

    Hey there is nothing in that job description about whips. It says tie people up and ignore them. That spells hours of fun getting paid while I read Asimov’s to me. Jeez, with whips you could break a nail.

  23. So, did you take the job?

  24. max

    No but if you would like to be tied up and ignored I am sure we can work something out.

  25. Tied up might be fun. But not ignored. I don’t see any point to that.

  26. Since you are working vampire hours, does this new job require you to suck blood? Tell them you’d prefer to sustain yourself on red wine. They have to supply, of course.

    Sounds like a suitable replacement to me.

  27. That girl in the picture looks like a dominatrix escapee from my fetish party. Oh! Is that what the new job is? lol

  28. max

    The only woman at that party dressed as well as that picture was you Stil. None of the other women could hold a candle to you or that pic.

  29. Why, thank you, Max. Don’t make my ego any larger than it is this week. I’m on fire!

  30. max

    You are fun when you are on fire. Burn bright, Sunshine.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *