the nefarious yoga shorts

I got yoga shorts.

It is horrifying looking at my poor bare knees and thighs in the studio mirror — and also a lot easier for instructors to bust you if your thighs are not straining hard enough — but really a relief to not start wanting to rip my pants off halfway through a yoga session.

 

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I am doing Bikram yoga. It is 105 degrees in the Bikram studio. And you are in there sweating your ass off – literally, like leaving wet physical body imprints on your mat every time you lay down and when you are not laying down, raining sweat on your mat that would make any rain forest proud — for an hour and a half.

 

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I am a lot more comfortable, mentally, wearing at least below the knees yoga pants. None of that pesky “Oh fuck me, look at those knees and thighs in the mirror, no no no!” mental stuff going on.

I finally had to either start ripping longer yoga pants off at the thighs Hulk style or get yoga shorts.

Physically, I couldn’t take wet sweat soaked clinging too hot and sweaty yoga long pants syndrome any more.

 

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Bikram totally is more comfortable in yoga shorts. Less “Jesus Christ I have to get these freaking pants off now I do not care who is watching” impulses or moments.

 

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Sometimes my head snaps to the fact I am leaning over in very short not leaving much to the imagination skin tight shorts with a whole lot of people standing behind me and my ass is for sure at least partially exposed by riding somewhere nefarious yoga shorts not approved by the DAR yoga shorts committee.

 

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Sweating with your knees locked, your head on the floor, and your hands locked around your heels is not the best time to adjust your shorts.

I apologize in my head to my pilgrim grandmothers and keep going.