the imaginary boyfriend gets dissed

warrior womanSo Thursdays are chat nights in the workshop. There are more women than men in the workshop but most of the guys go to bed early and after that the workshop girls get, um, well, we behave better when the boys are there — usually.

[Ahem, Michele and Sophia.]

But one of the new workshop guys, TJ, is a creature of the night too so he is there when good behavior crumbles and pretty soon things get totally unruly but later talk about crushes takes over and Michele has this huge crush on Clay Aiken which we all humor but new workshop guy TJ, unaccustomed to our aberrant fixations or humoring them, says —

“He is gay, Michele.”

Uh oh.

A frenzy starts up over whether or not Clay is gay and Zee and TJ are both saying he totally is and Michele, lashing out at me – who did not say a thing about Clay being gay at all jeez – says Mirco is gay.

[Mirco is my imaginary boyfriend and I suspect Michele attacked my imaginary boyfriend because she knows Zee will kill her if she says anything about John Stamos — who is Zee’s aberrant crush — but this suggests she thinks Zee is more blood thirsty and vengeful than I am which is, um, probably wrong.]

And I say, Take that back damn you. And pounce. So then we are all rolling around in the mud pit and new workshop guy TJ wants to see this imaginary boyfriend person so I post a link and he says –

“Mirco is gay, Max.”


More thrashing in the mud and also isn’t it totally wrong to cast aspersions on a single girl’s imaginary boyfriend RIGHT BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY AND VALENTINE’S DAY?

That is SO wrong.

So I refuse to give up Mirco or even to acknowledge aspersions [he is not gay he is Italian dammit] and workshop guy TJ says it is for my own good and I say well then workshop guy TJ better find me a new imaginary boyfriend and he says he can do it in a week.

Wow he is such an optimist.

Also a week is not before my birthday or Valentine’s Day so that would not work anyway.


28 Responses to the imaginary boyfriend gets dissed

  1. Clay is gay.

    Mirco is gay.

    Hmm. I’d tell this dude it takes one to know one lol

  2. Couldn’t you just ‘imagine’ him straight? LOL.

  3. max

    He did not even see the fluffy hair YouTube.

    Oh the humanity.

  4. I mean to say I have to get out more. Geeze, just call me bubble brain.

  5. max

    “I have got to get more” made perfect sense to me.

  6. aj

    TJ may just think they are both extremely happy guys. Gay, jovial, and all that jazz.

  7. max

    I do not think that is what he meant.

    I am plotting evil vengeful bunny names.

  8. aj

    I know that is not what he meant, I was just providing false hope.

    I think he should get “single.. but not gay bunny”, after all that was he answered when I asked if he was single. He did it to himself, the poor lad.

  9. aj

    * there is a “what” missing from that above comment, “that was WHAT he answered.. blah blah”.

    You cannot even call that a typo, it’s more of a condition.

  10. max

    Someday soon I will so be able to take advantage of this.

  11. Our boys are not gay Max. NOT. GAY.

    Fantasy intact.


  12. And tj so needs a bunny name of “everyone is gay” bunny.

  13. Sophia

    Not fair I missed the mud pit rolling. Not fair at all. Do you by any chance have it recorded?

  14. max

    There will be other mud fights.

  15. You did totally miss out, Sophia. Hope you’re back for round two.

    Max, Mirco is so not gay. Italian guys are like girls and Italian chicks are less like girls.

  16. max

    Kitty, that is so not consoling. I went to high school in a logging town. That skews your perspectives of what is attractive in the opposite sex in a very guys-who-are-like-girls-are-not-men way.

  17. Well not to dis Italian women, let me put it this way.
    Italian men are prettier than Italian women. They know this. That is why Italian men are always checking out their reflections in store front windows. Italian women don’t do that.
    Italian men wear tighter jeans and have longer hair than Italian women.
    You need to send a letter to the logger town newspaper where you grew up telling them you have managed to fall in love with a hunk who does not speak grunt and tosses his curls.

  18. max

    I am not sure I would call this love. It is a four letter word that starts with L though. That counts, right?

  19. No comment about Italian men right now. They are bastards!

    Oh wait, there wasn’t supposed to be a comment.

    They are bastards!

    Ooops, I did it again.

    They are – oh never mind, you get the point.

  20. max

    Just remind yourself how old he is going to be in ten years. Now, he carries it well. In ten years? Probably not so well.

  21. Z

    There just simply is nothing to attack about John Stamos. He is perfect.

  22. Y’all realize of course that Kate and I tend to take dissin’ imaginary people sort of personal, right?


    Max, he is exactly the man you imagine him to be. (We’d know better than anyone, right?) Lust on, Dear.

  23. max

    Janie, that so works for me.

  24. I’m scouring the net for pics of seventy year old men to pin on my fridge.

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