the church of max's tragically bereft stove


antique stoveOver at Anita Marie’s —

We were discussing how nice it would if dinner just fell out of the sky already toasty and in foil for a nice snack [okay really we were discussing whether or not wolves would eat cosmonauts who fell out of the sky all toasty already in foil] and I said I stared real hard at the stove each night but so far no luck [look I cannot cook it is not my fault it is genetic] so we formed a new religion : The Church of Max’s Tragically Bereft Stove religion. It is perfect. Penitents can sit before the stove and offer up prayers for sustenance and you know that has got to be more fun than burlap we will get converts all over I bet.

We did not know how to start a new religion [well I did not I have my suspicions about Anita Marie] but IMMEDIATELY —

Rain posted a firm that will set your new religion up for you. How kismet is that?


From The Law Offices of Rufinus & Rufinus
Now Specializing in New Religions
& Other Church-State Issues

Start Your Own Religion :

Organized religions have many advantages over other forms of business, and the canny entrepreneur will make the most of these advantages. Religions pay no taxes; they are virtually immune to advertising restrictions; they enjoy extraordinary constitutional protections not granted to other businesses.

Until now, however, the process of starting a new religion and having it officially recognized has been cumbersome and obscure. But no more! The Law Offices of Rufinus & Rufinus will help you choose the beliefs with the most earning power, ordain your clergy in the most efficacious fashion, and set up a campaign of proslytization to grow your new faith into a profitable nonprofit institution.


Rain is so smart. This is fate for sure. Also it will be handy in case this strike thing does not work out. Yay!


*ps : penitents are strongly encouraged to stop at taco bell on the way over and pick up a nice taco salad for the hostess


where the art work comes from :
that is majestic by otto k

where rufinus & rufinus comes from :
i snatched that at rains’


rain says she snatched that at doctor boli’s

13 Responses to the church of max’s tragically bereft stove

  1. This is a very good religion, I reckon. Nothing ain’t never gonna happen, but the hope will keep you going. Religion in a nutshell. Well done. You’ll be up there with Lovecraft.

  2. max

    Rain that is so disturbing.

    Sol, yay! A convert already. I knew this would work.

  3. Who knows, staring at that stove may result in some hot delivery boy at the door bearing sustenance and other gifts. Could happen, right?

  4. This is your basic win-win religion.
    You know what’s really going to be fun?
    Oh Yeah.

  5. max

    Oh. My. God.

    You guys are so smart.

    Our first holiday is Hot Delivery Guy Day.


  6. Kym

    Max, you are praying for the wrong thing. Hot Delivery Guys are ok but Hot Husbands who cook…MMMmm. Gets me feeling sexy right away. Kevin is the best cook. Yummy pancakes. Tri tip steak, salmon with basil. mmm, My mouth is watering. A hot flush is coming over me….

  7. max

    God I know. I remember being at your house one morning and him saying “cauliflower [sp?] omelette” and me thinking, Oh holy fuck, I am going to have to put this in my mouth AND chew AND swallow AND somehow keep a calm face? And then it was freaking delicious.

    I am agog still.

  8. Oh no…back up you guys…Hot Delivery Guy Day?
    You are brilliant.

  9. max

    Hot Delivery Guy Day is totally on.

  10. Will there be pictures?

  11. max

    No but there will be fun links.

  12. Pingback: new holidays yay! « celluloid blonde

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