system terrors : part one
Software crossroads are what people with a hell of a lot of legacy software have to navigate when/if they upgrade system software. See, system upgrades, without fail, cause enormous problems. A million things stop working, you have to go hunt up patches, if you are lucky and know what patches to go hunt up, or if you know someone savvy Mac who knows what patches you need.
If you are not lucky you keep talking to stupid uninformed Mac store people who helpfully suggest you rebuild your desktop which, hello, never works. My smart Mac person is gone. And I have been fighting a system upgrade here a long long time.
And I mean, a long, long time.
One of the computers is operating on Mac OS 9.04 or something like. That is a five year balk right there. That is how long I refused to risk system upgrade frenzy on the big computer.
The other computer is on Max OS X, [Tiger, grrrr], with a higher version of Mac 9 on it to make stuff that won’t work on OS X work. They call this “Mac Classic.” I call it “Stuff doesn’t work on OS X so your best fix is load two systems.” Which actually is not a stupid idea, I had that one like ten years ago and always have two operating systems at my disposal on the big stand alone for just that reason. Which, um, freaks people out because you are not supposed to do that but I do and it works. I just do not call it classic. I call it “Back up to make legacy software work.”
Meanwhile, the internet is boxing my ears on the big computer, so I have to play these games, like alternate between browsers on that computer and if those do not work, go to the little computer and hit Safari or something to get a site up that has outpaced the old system stuff.
This is getting kind of ridiculous and I have the software disks, you know, Tiger [grrr] and Classic [liar] that I could put on the big computer. I have all the disks.
But you know what happened last time I touched the big computer’s system?
The printer wouldn’t work. Wouldn’t work for a solid week till I figured out I needed an HP patch and went and downloaded it. And that was only the most immediate DID NOT WORK problem. There were others that in the end took about 3 months to straighten out.
So here I sit. Thinking, Wow, I could just do it. Stuff the disks in that little disk port, put ’em on, see what happens. Except, what would stop working when I did? Dreamweaver? That would be a big problem. How about Fireworks? Oh huge problem. Flash? Nasty sitch there. Probably nothing can kill Photoshop, which I hate and refuse to use unless it is an emergency and, like all creatures of death, Photoshop probably can only be killed with a stake through the heart, beheading, and cleansing fire with a priest overseeing the whole thing in a purple stole. But, what about Word? I do not write in Final Draft, I only have that device of the devil to read stuff I must read in Final Draft. I do not write in it. I write in Word. But. Okay. Word I have two versions of that would not actually be a huge problem I know one version on the little computer works with Tiger. But what about Fetch? What about Palm? WHAT IF I UPLOAD A NEW SYSTEM AND MY WHOLE FUCKING ADDRESS BOOK SHUTS DOWN?
Excuse me, I think I need a pedicure….
Your In Systems We Fear Adams Girl
ps: usually i would not name a thoughts piece “part one” just assuming there would be a second part but, um, hello?, system upgrade?, that is a franchise on terror bigger and toothier than jaws you know this is just the beginning….
pps: go see my site i am bringing back http://celluloiddog.com go on it is a good site i loved it enough to resurrect it.
ppps: for the people who keep asking, yes, that is me doing my nails, it is not that hard, go try it.