statute of limitations


I was reading —

This post over at Rachel’s and she says she and her sister still have the same battle “Mom loved you more” after years and years and it hit me, this is going on with families all over. It goes on with my family. Grown adults slamming each other with age old wounds as glamorous as “Oh yeah well you broke my Tonka truck!” Which is preposterous. So listen. We NEED a statute of limitations here.

Let’s start with “Mom loved you more.” Okay, that one gets a ten. For ten years you get to bitch about that. Then you have to stop it. The statute of limitations is up.

And for broken Tonkas? I know that is grief but seriously, that only should get a two. Maybe three. How is that? Three years for a busted Tonka. I call that fair.

[No one really broke a Tonka, well okay my cousins did they had a Tonka graveyard but not my Tonka that is just an example.]

Natch, there are crimes against family that just are capital crimes and have no statute of limitation. Just like with law, there are not a lot of those, but there are a few. Sleeping with your sibling’s husband or wife is a capital crime and has no statute of limitations. Sleeping with your child’s husband or wife, ditto. And molesting anyone in your family, well no statute of limitations and also your family member gets to throw rocks at you in a pit for 36 hours and however that turns out is how it turns out. That is just fair. But the rest of it?

Let’s put some limitations on these sibling griefs otherwise with the strides we are making in rejuvenation and medicine we are going to have ninety year olds boxing each other over who mom loved best.


where the art work comes from :
that is from madasor

0 Responses to statute of limitations

  1. These are the kind of things that make me glad to be an only child. ;-)

  2. When my brother and I were kids, we fought over who was adopted. (Neither of us were.) My mother told us one day that one of us was adopted and the other was a hermaphrodite, but she wouldn’t say who was which. So we fought over who got to be the adopted one. I didn’t know what a hermaphrodite was (and my grandfather’s explanation of “a bisexual built for two” didn’t help) but I knew that I didn’t want to be one by how people laughed when we said the word.

    What’s the statute on that? How long do I get to hold it over his head that I turned out to be the adopted one?

  3. max

    Jeez, Pants, this one is going to require calculus or something and I did not take calculus. I think if one of you quoted Grandpa in public though that might be a deciding factor:

    “Your brother says you stuff your bra.”

    “Oh yeah? Well my brother is a bisexual built for two.”

  4. max

    [btw welcome back missed you]

  5. Unfortunately, I never went through a period where I actually stuffed my bra. I went from zero to tit-tastic overnight in the summer between third and fourth grade. I won the adoption thing by coming up with a pseudonym and using only that name for mail and phone calls.

    (PS: I’ve been reading, just quietly.)

  6. max

    And you have been tit-tastic ever since — while girls like me must depend on the kindness of French underwires. Sheesh.

  7. Kym

    Is there a statute of Limitations on holding your brother down and punching him till his nose bleeds. ‘Cause I think I’m past the limit and no one should get to bring it up anymore ie I say, “The war in Iraq is wrong.” They say, “Well, from someone who punched her brother till his nose bled…” And they roll their eyes.

    Can you call my brother and tell him the time is up?

  8. max

    Oh his time is so up that one is only worth something like two years.

    [I am agog imagining you doing this wow you must have been mad is his statute of limitations for whatever brought on this burst of violence up?]

  9. max

    [also he is so being a total whiney baby man]

  10. Sarah

    Totally whiny baby boy. Tell him you’ll give his balls back to him if he promises to stop being such a whiny little prat.

    (Pants, not really incognito, just in wordpresso…)

  11. Kym

    I was eight– ’nuff said! I have no idea what he did.

    Families are funny that way though. I have to confess I still hold a grudge for the time we were playing hide and seek and… well, long boring story.

    I’ll bet the limit on that is only about 1 month.

  12. Kym

    On the other hand, the limit on long boring stories is never up. I’ll hold it against someone forever.

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