return of revenge of the spider


Day One.

A spider shows in the kitchen. It looks like some sort of garden spider. [Some sort of BIG garden spider.] Do not feel like killing anything. Or catching anything. Hope hard it will slip out the way it slipped in.

Day Two : No spider. Yay!

Day Three : The spider is back. In the living room. This is not good. It is moving away from the kitchen.

Give spider wide berth.

Day Four : The spider likes the living room wall. Detante. And more wide berth.

Day Five : No spider. Yay!

Day Six : The spider is in the bathroom. Bad spider. Bad. Open bathroom window. Hope spider will find way around bathroom screen like it found way around kitchen screen.

Make note to self : Fix loose kitchen screen.

Day Seven : The spider has taken up residence on the bathroom wall. By the toilet. This won’t work. Knock spider down with back scrubber handle. Use toilet quickly.

Day Seven Point Five : Spider has returned to guard toilet. Gah! Capture spider in yogurt container. Let go ouside front door. Hope neighbors do not see me in underoos shaking yogurt container like crazy woman.

Day Eight : Walk straight into spider web stretched across front door.

Damn spider.


where the art work comes from :
that is from kattenmeisje

0 Responses to return of revenge of the spider

  1. Faig M

    Oh, was that Tom Wait’s spider?

    “Lay down in the web of the black spider,
    I’ll drink your blood like wine…”

    I’m trying to picture you, Max, up at five in the morning (or is it five in the morning in LA now?), alone in the room, typing…

    This is my thing, too, see. Up at four or five, no, don’t turn the light on, let the night linger. It’s not the man, it’s his blurred soul, fresh off the crumpled linens, wandering around. Coffee. The screen flickers as the lines are beaded, one after another, on the invisible lines strung cross the page. They destroy the whiteness. They bring ’round the early morning’s deceitful security and false promises.
    Then, the dawn looks into the mirror like a long-hated enemy; it has found you already; it has come to tear your dreams to shreds…
    Exit DREAM. Enter REALITY.
    Tom Waits: “Go blow your mind out..” REALITY!

  2. Faig M

    Day Nine: “Where’s that goddamn slipper?” Plonk!

    A propos, in summer, there was that big green bug on the wall. I burnt it with my light. Click! Click!
    Boy, didn’t the bastard STINK as it scorched! I had that stench all over me, even my tea stank of the big green bug. Or so I thought. Till the evening. EVEN THOUGH I NEVER TOUCHED THE BUG.
    Were those the weird qualms of conscience, I wondered.
    Or was that the stench of death?

  3. scary. spiders by toilets will not do. we once had a spider that guarded our phone (land lines, blast from the past, right?) and we named it lucifer

  4. max

    Okay. You got me beat. That is hilarious, “Lucifer” blocking the phone.

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