prognosticating with the gummy bear


gummy bear tarotI told JanieBelle if she wanted more clicks on her blog two girls kissing was not going to do it — but construct those girls out of gummy bears and toss a hobbit in there and I bet people would flock.

This came after I watched a guy’s site climb from obscurity into the realm of top WordPress sites when he and relatives built a gummy bear model of the Battle of Helm’s Deep. And took photos. And put them up on the web. For people to SEE.

[Well who wouldn’t, really?]

What is the intrinsic lure of the gummy bear? Was it the bears? Was it Tolkein? The combo? This must be solved.

I am so a solver. I got right on this. I am not intrepid enough to type gummy bear porn or lesbo gummy bear into a search engine. [If you are do not tell anyone.] I just googled gummy bear. And found –

Gummy Bear Tarot.

I am agog.


17 Responses to prognosticating with the gummy bear

  1. I’d rather see two girls kissing than anything with gummy bears. :)

  2. So I had to do it…

    Nah, I wanted to but I just couldn’t bring myself to type the words. I still want to know what the search results are though.

    The search results for ‘Gummy Bears’ came up with a couple of strange ones;

    ‘Gummy Bears defeat fingerprint sensors’


    ‘Nicola Doering: The Sexual Fantasies of Gummy Bears’

    You know those days when you get out of bed and, after having a quick look at the world around you, all you want to do is climb back in and pull the covers over your head? This is one of those days.

  3. I typed in the words and I thought what I found was so funny I’d share them here:

    sorry…no links…just the wonderful descriptions-

    “Accompany each shot with an audio recording of lesbian sex. I think my idea is awesome. … Put them in a huge mold and maybe create a huge gummy bear. …”

    “The Wonderful World of Gummybear Sex. Even Gummy Bears need to have fun, sweet cuddly tasty bears. The naughty culprits. The gummy job. Gummy girl on top …”

    I didn’t realize when I was coming to this site that there would be explicit (gummy bear) sex. Perhaps you should warn people. Some of us surf at work, …

  4. max

    Oh wow. Explicit gummy bear sex. That so wins.

  5. LMAO Seriously! I don’t feel comfortable feeding my kid our stash of Gummy Bears… It’s worms only for him!

  6. Wow. Whodathunkit.

    Max, you are so much more adept and insightful at this blogging thing! I would have never thought…

    What do you link of lesbian gummy bears kissing with audio? Would that cover all the bases, or should I throw in a three-way and a priest, just to be sure?


  7. Oh, that is so adorable! I love it!

  8. max

    Janie that is still missing important geek factors. Like a big battle and also something from Tolkein or Star Wars. So, you know, if the girls were kissing while blowing up the Death Star or storming Mordor or something, maybe, hmm.

    The gummy bear Tarot is cute but isn’t Tarot supposed to be mystical and mysterious or something? You cannot have gummy bear Tarot. What will be next? Gummy Bear Ouija?

    Oh no. Time for another google search.

  9. max

    ps: i am relieved to report google image search for gummy bear ouija turned up no results

  10. Gummy’s face on a nuclear weapon. That is what’s next.

  11. Worms are disgusting. I cringe when my nephew eats gummy worms.

  12. Ok, how ’bout this. Gummy Vadress and her whip wielding boss The Gummy Emporwhore take their planet sized weapon, the XXX-Star to Morwhores to blow it up before the Three Priests from the East can cum and stop them with their magic +9 attack Love Potions made from gummy worms which they were told to do by the gummy Tarot and a Dead Smurf through a gummy Ouija board.

    And then Gummy Vadress and The Gummy Emporwhore kiss.

    How’s that?

  13. max

    Um. It is lovely Janie. Now off you go scoot to post explicitly on the JanieBelle board you little extrovert.

  14. max

    There there Janie it is just very racy for celluloid blonde.

  15. ok Max. No more gummy porn, I promise.


  16. I can hardly gummy bear and grin it! I just got my new false teeth fitted and they stick when I try to eat gummy bears… let alone think about the sex thing.

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