playing chicken with the bear


polar bearIn the country —

There was a bear. I was alone there in a little cabin on a ranch the night I met the bear. Well not alone, I had one elderly dog and one small cat with me. But that is not big back up and the nearest neighbors were gone away somewhere. It was late and I forget why I went outside. Maybe for wood. It is all wood heat up there. I was not wearing much but it is the country so no one is going to notice that. And there were two blue glowing lights hovering above the ground on the other side of the clearing.

I stared at those lights, thinking what the hell? The moon was pretty full that night but it was real cloudy so mostly blocked I could not see much. Just those two hovering blue lights. And I stood on the porch staring at those lights wondering what the hell they were, why were they hovering over the ground? And I stepped off the porch and was walking towards those blue hovering lights wondering what the hell was up when —

I got it.

They were eyes.

Doing some weird blue luminescence thing in the moonlight.

And judging from how high they were hovering [okay, apparently not hovering, elevated] above the ground, they had to belong to something about the size and shape of a five hundred pound bear.

So. I was in my underoos and sneakers walking towards a bear. A really BIG freaking bear. And that bear was just watching me come. Not a sound. Not a move. Just waiting.

They say don’t run when you see a bear.

Yeah right.

I learned something that night too.

Do not play chicken with a bear.

The bear will ALWAYS win.


where the art work comes from :
that is from aprevit

21 Responses to playing chicken with the bear

  1. Brut

    Whew… It’s only noon, but I’m just catching my breath after reading that and having a couple of shots. You see as far as I know I only have one fear of dieing and that is in a fight with a bear. I think of it frequently smelling the dank fur, the sour breath, feeling the hot saliva as it bites into my flesh. Aagh… you are a brave woman.
    I need a shower and another drink.

    (That’s why I go “camping” at W hotels.)

  2. Brut

    What’s the rule? Y? I before E? Freakin’ bear got me all upset.

  3. max

    Not so brave. I ran like hell and immediately ordered bear spray.

  4. Kym

    When I saw that one in our garage, we both ran. Thank God!

  5. Survived two encounters with bear in both Virginia and Colorado. They really do pump the ol’ adrenal glands something fierce.

    Heh, yeah, you’re really not supposed to run, but, odds are, the bear saw you running in your skivvies and said to him/herself: “WTF? Now that’s funny…”

  6. max

    [jeez now I have to kick jason’s ass for saying i look funny in skivvies]

  7. californiablogging

    Too bony for a meal why bother. One two bites and she’d be gone. It’d be desert first.

  8. max

    The bear was just way more interested in trash, that was where bagged trash went before taking it to the dump and I got to clean up after him the next morning and he was very very messy.

  9. “Too bony for a meal why bother. One two bites and she’d be gone. It’d be desert first.”


    How old were you, Max?

  10. max

    This was about three years ago.

  11. Kym

    :sad little voice: Am I real yet, Gepetto?

  12. max

    Nope. I had to pull those out of spam too. This can only be fixed by WordPress staff. It is a misapplied spam flag.

  13. max

    [you want this cleared up before sunday too when the weekend hits they stop doing support and you are stuck till monday in spam post hell]

  14. Ahhhhhh! Great story Max.

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