paperless my ass


billsI find it —

Annoying I have to pay extra to pay bills online. Everyone is all, Please go paperless, please go paperless! I am paperless, but then they are all, Oh, paperless, that will be $500 in online fees every year!

[Okay it depends how many bills you are carrying and I travel light and don’t have all that many but add it up, five here, five there, two there, one-fifty over there, another fee here, another there — in the end it is $300 a year min on my end and more on many other people’s.]

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t it be an additional fee if you’re cutting down trees and licking stamps and making people open envelopes and hunt up your account number and file papers and who knows what the hell else when you pay bills?

I say from now on people mailing in checks get an additional fee and the paperless people get no more damn fees.


Companies especially culpable in charging additional fees for paying online: Every. Single. Utility. Company. In. The. United. States. Of. America. AND — the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Companies who knock off fees if you pay online: The US Postal Service. God bless you USPS you are so ahead of your time. [USPS gives discounts if you buy online.]

Companies that are pretty cool about not adding additional fees for paying online:

My apartment building — the manager is so pro paperless he throws parties for companies that go paperless. Yay!

Also my auto insurance carrier, they are very pro paperless and support that. Go, Insurance Peeps, go!

Also, Verizon Wireless — who annoy me regularly but still, no online payment fees, good work Verizon yay!

Also, Clear — just picks up their fee without worrying about billing at all and never charges a collection fee. Go Clear!


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