open mouth insert foot


crow_pianissimo.pngA buddy of mine —

Dating a new girl was out at dinner. And went off on breast augmentation.

He is very anti-augmentation he says implants feel strange. I cannot corroborate this I do not fondle lots of breasts I have to take his word for it. Anyway. He is out on a date with Prospective New Girl — whom he really likes by the way and is hoping to get frisky with — and he goes off on a tirade.

Finally she says, Um, I have implants.

He says, Really? But they are so small.

Shockingly they still got frisky.

It was really doomed from the start though.


where the art work comes from :
that is piannisimo from mdumlao98’s flickr page

28 Responses to open mouth insert foot

  1. “Tasteful” implants? :)

  2. Interesting first date topic of conversation.

  3. I’m not a big fan of implants but if they stay within a size or two of the original endowment they are workable.

  4. ““Tasteful” implants? :)”

    Yeah, Woeful, they were tasty.

    I will not admit nor deny to fondling breasts.

    BTW, anyone that goes on some impassioned tirade on a first date is probably going to be a loud mouthed, opinionated tool.

    Translates to lots of intense fighting/hot sex.

  5. Best sex I ever had with a non-girlfriend was with a PETA chick whom I couldn’t be in the same room with for more than ten mintues without a heated argument breaking out. We only hooked up because we went to her room (I lived in university residence at the time) to look up some point we were aruging about.

    I don’t even remember how we transitioned from vitriolic arugument to rolling around naked on the floor. No sentiment, no affection, just snarling animal chemistry. Ten minutes after we finished we started sniping again and never really got along.

  6. I a big fan of nature, not silly-cone. For me, it’s really more of a factor of how a woman takes care of what she already has.

  7. max

    I do not think it was their first date. It is surprising it was not their last to me. My buddy is a good guy, but not entirely tactful and also sort of a hound I think he thought telling a small breasted woman he was into “natural” made him points towards getting her into bed.

    Of course the big question comes in, with all the value judgements going down on implants, how does this all effect a woman who did not have strictly cosmetic surgery? Who had cancer and after removal of breast tissue had reconstructive surgery.

  8. Oh I have some two cents on this one but I have to go run and get a massage. Be back though with my spare change.

  9. Basically, it pisses me off. Cosmetic, reconstructive, same f-ing difference. If natural is supposed to be good, then one should learn to live with one self even if their breasts got removed.

    The hypocrisy.

  10. Perhaps in the eyes of one with breasts they perceive theirs as flawed, as does the person who had cancer and had them removed. Who is to say the first person’s perception/value is wrong?

  11. Wow I’m really late for this massage.

    The therapist will just have to deal with my gym smelly pits.

  12. I just realized..telling a girl with implants that her breasts are small is not good. A lot of women get them done twice. Now she is going to run out and grab another pair.

    Oh. My massage. Wrong time.

  13. max

    There is a lot of hypocrisy and contradictory value judgement going on with cosmetic surgery.

    I am going to pick a fight with Valliant now and get him riled up and growley….

    Hockey sucks. But more than hockey sucking, the Senators suck.


  14. max

    [ps : did I get the team right?]

  15. Where is the fight! I want to go!

    BTW, isn’t it Washington Senators? Oh no – that’s Washington’s old baseball team, I think.

    See how much we know about sports, Max?

  16. Valliant would die of envy if he knew there was a hockey rink right across the street. In fact I can SEE IT FROM MY WINDOW lol

  17. max

    I always liked Marty McSorley but I do not know if that will contribute to or put out the flames hmm.

  18. Is this a continuation of the “Open Mouth Insert Foot” thread?

  19. max

    Not that I know of but he is going to miss all my inflammatory remarks if we bump the comments here. Drat.

  20. My sister had to have her breast removed- she found out she had cancer when she was 36 so the treatment was pretty aggressive-

    and no she didn’t have reconstructive surgery- she says she’s done with hospitals and that was that.

    I doubt if I’d have it done either, I mean probably I’d be focused on fighting the cancer- but I suck at multi-tasking so that explains that.

  21. max

    I am sorry to hear your sister was ill Anita I am very glad the procedure was successful.

    We can have scars so many places where they are just scars and then you put it on a breast and it takes on an entirely different significance. I sure get no more hospitals too.

  22. My sister’s hardest night was when she lost her hair- it really did fall out all at once and on the night it happened my niece ( who was four at the time ) heard my Sister crying on the couch.

    Pualani came racing down the stairs and did this flying leap thing onto the couch, she grabbed my sister’s head and shouts, ” don’t worry Mommy, I’ll save you! ”

    I guess she thought if she held Esther’s head the hair would stay in.

    Anyway, we all went over to her house the next day and Es was bald- she showed us her wig ( I think me and Luis and the boys…my brother …everyone, ) tried it on.

    Es decided it wasn’t her and she just went bald.
    The funny thing is, if you’d asked Es a year earlier would she walk around bald and with no breasts- she’d have said ….NO.

    But she did.

  23. I was going to respond to Senators taunt but Anita’s sister’s quiet dignity shamed me a little. Every now and again you realize how light the cross you bear actually is.

  24. max

    Well, jeez, Valliant, you walk around bald with no breasts all the time AND you are stuck with those dumb Senators.

    [I am sorry Anita I had to do it I am evil and wrong.]

  25. A.J. that quiet dignity my sister has…it’s balanced with a wicked sense of humor…so take your best shot…and same goes for you Max.

    I mean after a life time of ME I’m sure Es would feel the world is a pretty dull place without people like us ;-)

  26. then there’s the whole issue of cosmetic surgery on the labia, if you care to look

  27. “then there’s the whole issue of cosmetic surgery on the labia, if you care to look”

    Thank God. Mine’s perfect LMLO (that would be “laughing my labia off”}

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