new holidays yay!
Anita Marie and I have created a new religion Anita astutely pointed out we need holidays for it and also Michele mentioned the importance of cute delivery guys [Anita and Michele are so smart] and luckily for you I am so on task on holidays AND cute delivery guys so right away I started a list :
Also we probably need some days of giving and humility so —
Volunteer at Your Local Animal Shelter Day
Mock a Bigot Day
[The bigot’s get to be humble that day wow will that be a change.]
Also clearly we need a —
[Do not argue, Shoe Day is in.]
Okay also because some days just need to be get out of jail free days and also somewhere in there I skipped over debauchery days which we clearly need —
Drive Blotto Day
Get Tanked Call the Relatives & Tell Them What You Really Think Day
Hold on. Clearly we are going to also need —
[It is kind of required by those other two days.]
And as long as we are being generous, well, probably there has to be a Football Day.
[Go Giants my ass.]
It just has to be there though to make the boys happy.
[Never say I am not a giver.]
Okay wait also we cannot leave out the internet and customer support issues —
No Spam Day [this one really counts yay!]
And also —
Customer Support Has to Answer With a Real Person Within 30 Seconds Day and Not in India
Also, because they are smart and underpaid and abused and taken for granted to no end —
[On Teacher’s Day, teacher’s get to line up all troublesome students and parents and shoot them with rubber bullets as long as they want.]
[Really. It will be educational.]
Oh. And wait. Back up. I left out a really important one :
Yay! Yay! Yay!
[Wow this new holiday stuff is work I am running out of steam here.]
I have somehow missed on the romantic days so we need those too and also I am lacking fancy costumes and lights days and also some sort of day of the spirits or dead day we need those also too but that is a good start. Comments? Suggestions?
[Oh and Rain I would totally have a ctuhultha day in there but I cannot spell it.]