murder mayhem sex free beer....


Okay really this is —

The new Miss R. Survey and I did not make that title up she did.


[Stealing Miss R. Surveys is my life.]


Murder, Mayhem, Sex, Free Beer….

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Do I have to choose? I have so many favorites….

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I am sorry you are entering a romance free zone. Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle.

3. Do you regret losing your virginity and who you lost it to?
That should be whom shouldn’t it? [Whacky survey writers — now watch me obliterate grammar throughout the rest of the quiz woohoo!]

Wait. Back up. Who says I am not a virgin? Damn liars….

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would buy a less heavy bed. Getting that damn bed up these stairs took an act of God.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
“She Who Will Maim and Terrorize Small Children.”

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?

Sex. [Hey you asked.]

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

8. How many colleges did you attend?

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

That would be the shirt I woke up in, Alex.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I am sorry my mind goes blank every time I see gas prices.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
Are you crazy? Move? Again???

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

Oh like I use an alarm clock.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?

Must stay awake….

14. Favorite underwear?
I am not telling. Fresh!

15. Favorite thing about the opposite sex?

I am definitely not telling. Fresh!

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Dishes. God I hate doing dishes. Wait, no, scrubbing the tub. And the toilet. Gah! Okay, wait, I have to make a list here.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
Well yeah, I already volunteer.

18. Get up early or sleep in?

Well definitely stay in bed. That does not all have to be about sleep though does it?

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Howl. Definitely Howl. Wait. No. Inuyasha. Wait. No. Howl. No. Inuyasha! No. Howl! No —

[Sorry, Chinatown moment there.]

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl?
Okay. This is potentially the stupidest question I have ever come across.

21. Have you found real love yet?
That depends on how you define “real” and “love.” Me, I am still looking for “everlasting.”

22. When did you first start feeling old?
Oh I do not feel old. Teenagers sure look stupid though.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Unbaptized small children.

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?
A brush with death and the unwashed masses.

26. Beach or lake?
Give me a catamaran and wind and it is all good.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No. I just have a steep learning curve

28. Do you own property?
Silly survey. People do not own property. Property owns people.

29. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I think “wouldn’t want anyone to find out about” is pretty clear there.

31. What’s your drink?
Vodka, Baby.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Couldn’t I have a nice hockey player instead?

33. Cops or Robbers?
Listen if it involves guns and handcuffs it is not sexy. Silk ties on the other hand….

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
[Say, must I say “whom” again here?]

Am I in a large vehicle?

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Is that a math question?

36. Norm or Cliff?
Let’s get back to that nice hockey player.

37. Grey’s or The Office?
Well Grey’s but before Izzy became a needy whiner obsessed with men not Denny.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Will this be on the final? In a blue book? How many blue books do I get to use?

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
That would be Clyde. Computer Clyde. Clyde and I have a delicate working relationship here and I do not want to tip those scales.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
What about nice hockey player was not clear?

41. Indoors or Outdoors?
Let’s just say I am not a Laura Ashley girl.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?

It is safe to say I have crashed at least one of every item with wheels I have ever come in contact with. And a few without.

[Whose bright idea was it to ride innertubes down a snow slope with a voracious sharp stone filled ditch at the bottom again?]

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

As opposed to its unintended purpose? [Hey, what is with these fire extinguisher questions? I have seen these before.]

44. Last book you read?
Does desperately flipping through a computer manual count?

[Damn you Clyde]

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds of self incrimination.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Pretty much my teeth are always in the same place — my mouth.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
I am not sure there is any place in California I have not been.

48. Do you go to church?
Oops. There is a place in California I have not been.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?

Getting back to that hockey player….

50. How old are you?
Okay there are some questions you should not ask a woman experiencing pms symptoms. We can say this is one of those questions and you can take it back — or I can initiate you into the finer points of “unintended” uses for a fire extinguisher….


where the art work comes from :
that is by chaovsky

11 Responses to murder mayhem sex free beer….

  1. Kym

    I hate those surveys people broadcast on bulletin boards on Myspace.

    Apparently, I have never read one filled in by Max before.

    :rubs corners of mouth to stop the ache from grinning so much:

  2. LMAO… #24 fits in really well with my latest post!

  3. Lucia

    #19, Hey, Max, I guess you’ve seen “Sento Chihirono Kamigaksi(Sprited Away), have you? What about “The Petshop of Horrors”? As for the latter, I’ve always thought if some big director make it as a fantasy film, it’d be awesome.

  4. oh dear god, max, I have laughed so hard. #24 & #34 are favorites. thank you.

  5. max

    Hey, Lucia. I have seen Spirited Away — I have seen probably every Hayao Miyazaki film you can get paws on here. Have not seen Petshop of Horrors. I keep thinking Grave of the Fireflies in connection with that it is different people though — Hirata does a kid war story too though right?

    Woe, you post something like that, Porn Guy is so going to show with his shovel AND a spoon.

    [Woe is threatening to feed unattended children at the library to the homeless — Woe is a giver.]

    Kim, Toni, thanks. [smile]

    Hey I cannot take total credit for #24 that was Miss R’s answer first and just so worked for me.

  6. Lucia

    Who’s Hirata?

    “Grave of the Fireflies” is a really touching story. Still, if you come to think about the historic big picture, I have problems to love it.
    See, once there were this wolf who were trying to get those 3 pigs. The wolf actually had 3 baby wolves to feed at home and basically that was why he was attacking the pigs. The pigs were quite clever so the war b/w the wolf and the pigs took quite a long while. Long enough for the baby wolves to have starved to death. It is sad, really sad. I wonder who’s the real victim here though.

    Seita and Setsuko’s father was, after all, serving as a naval officer for the Emperor of Japan.

  7. max

    I think Hirata directed Petshop of Horrors. I could be wrong.

  8. ~m

    24. Your favorite lunch meat?
    Unbaptized small children.

    on Rye or Pumpernickel? :evil:

  9. Totoro is my best friend.

  10. max

    Totoro rocks. I so want a ride on the cat bus.

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