A total conspiracy against Max sleep. First I forgot to turn the sleep timer on on the TV last night and for some reason programmers think TV should be really loud in the morning [do morning people really like louder TV?, no wonder we do not get on] so BOOM! 8 am strikes and the TV jumps 2,000 decibles. Ahhh! Begin emergency bleary eyed search for remote control to silence the beast —
Whew! Found it.
I collapse back into bed.
Immediately the smoke alarm starts doing it’s “I have a low battery” beep. This is something that cannot be slept through. And involves hauling a ladder out of the closet to climb to rip the smoke detector from the wall, hoping I am ripping the right smoke detector from the wall.
This is not enough. That battery may be low, but not low enough, it is still beeping. So I commit emergency surgery on the smoke detector and rip out its inside battery and stash it in the pantry to quell its slowly dying beeps.
I crawl back into bed.
Immediately there is some sort of S.W.A.T. frenzy [at 8 am, seriously?] and sirens go crazy outside. Multiple sirens. And keep going. And keep going. And keep going. Really nearby.
For an hour.
Some mornings you are just not meant to sleep.