miss r's quiz aka retarded survey ver. 1.67.3
Miss R always has the best quizzes. Also she and I are often scarily similar in our answers. That or I just want to steal her better more witty more clever answers —
Naw. That could not be it. There is just no drama in that. [Yes there is.] Let’s go with conjoined twins brutally separated at birth. That is so much more exciting —
THE RETARDED SURVEY VER. 1.65.3
1. My ‘ex’ is….
still breathing, what was all that “I cannot live without you” sash again?2. I am listening to…
the voices — which kind of makes you wonder, is it domestic violence neighbor guy, or is it me?3. Maybe I should…
give up my self respect and dignity and pounce the cute downstairs neighbor guy4. I love..
uh oh, here comes love stuff5. My best friend…
the voices claim to be my “best friend” but I am not sure about this “kill everyone at the library” thematic6. I don’t understand…
you are going to have to narrow that down we could be here all night
insert random bathing suit shot for stilletto —>
7. I lost my respect for…
batteries, those little bastards burn out too fast — um, I am talking about the tv remote you pervos8. I last ate…
the number ten and I am not telling you what “the number ten” is9. The meaning of my display name is…
pretty self explanatory if you ask me — you did just ask right?10. Love is…
oh, back with the love stuff11. Somewhere…
a statuesque cross-dresser is thinking of me12. I will always…
rely on the kindness of strangers13. Love seems to be…
on your fucking mind14. I never ever want to lose…
my virginity — wait, what year is it again?15. My mobile phone is…
first with the love, now with the number, i so see where this is going16. When I woke up this morning…
well that was hours ago, kind of not on my mind right now17. I get annoyed at…
let’s narrow that down — what does not annoy me?18. Parties…
now you want parties? I think not.19. My pet(s)…
i do not have pets, i have elocution tapes — okay not really but it sounded better than two hundred pairs of shoes.20. Kissing…
long, hard, preferably naked
21. Today I…
laughed at the misfortunes of others22. I wish…
do not get me started on wishes23. I really want…
what about do not get me started was not clear?ANSWER TRUTHFULLY [as opposed to my usual devious lies?] —
What would you rather be called?
01. Sweetie or Honey:
you are kidding right?02. Darling or Hun:
okay, my wall sex minx o’ love would be a better start here, after that we can talk silk tiesPRESENTLY —
01. is your hair wet?:
not yet02. is your cell phone right by you?:
i do not know let me call it and see — wait, i cannot find the landline03. do you miss someone?:
yes my youth and incredulity04. are you wearing chap stick?
yes and thank you for noticing, it is vanilla and sassy05. are you tired?
no which is kind of a problem at this hour06. are you excited?
not yet — say something dirty07. are you watching tv?
no the voices are blocking all outside transmissions08. are you wearing pajamas?
define “pajamas”HAVE YOU —
01. recently done anything you regret?:
yes but my rationalization process is swift and sure02. ever lied?:
i am over five what do you think?03. ever stuck gum under a desk?
no I drop it in the path of unwary pedestrians like God intended04. ever kicked someone?:
yes and i would do it again05. ever tripped over your own feet?:
it was not the feet, it was the invisible disappearing ropeTODAY —
01. have you cursed?:
fuck yes and I am about to do it again02. yelled at someone?
no but I could do you have someone in mind?
03. have you gotten mad at someone?:
say you are kind of into this fight club thing aren’t you?RANDOM —
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: yes and I am not telling you who but he has ripley absQ: do you have any siblings?
A: so they claimQ: Do you want children?
A: well no one under eighteen — oh, wait, you mean want to give birth to children, that is differentQ: do you smile often?
A: there are many kinds of “smile”Q: do you wish on stars?
A: you have been talking to the voices too?Q: do you like your handwriting?
A: the last time I saw my handwriting was 1762 — that is what Susan says anywayQ: are your toenails painted?
A: no and damn you for asking on the one day i am not wearing polishQ: are you a friendly person?
A: let’s pull this grenade pin and find outQ: who’s bed did you sleep in last night?
A: like I sleepQ: what size ring do you wear?
A: if it is a diamond i am shooting for two caratsQ what color shirt are you wearing?
A: sky blue and it is really my colorQ: what were you doing at 7 pm yesterday?
A: wow, more distant past questions, okay, probably obsessing about some guy, no, wait,twisting young mindser, reviewing student assignments, yeah, that was it, and as a contributing member of society too how does that rock your socks?Q: I can’t wait until…
A: listen I am getting really traumatized by this shortage of bathing suit shots will this be over soon?Q: Is tom on your friends list?
A: no he is some tard who makes rachel’s code appear fucked up when she writes html or JavaScript into her blogsQ: Look to your right:
A: hmm one of the candles is out — wait, how did you — okay i have to close the blinds nowQ: Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
A: no she was wearing designer you do not smear mascara and snot on designer what is wrong with you?
Oh thank God it is over I thought I was going to have to whip out another bathing suit shot.
[Also, not to be cruel or anything, but this was totally written by one of those lapdog guys, Rachel, lose Tom, lapdog guys sleep with drunk girls and think after you should marry them because as we all know drunken friend sex is a binding contract]
where i nabbed this quiz :
i grabbed this at rachel’s place
say one of the rules here was you have to go fast so if it is not funny? okay i am always funny you are just lame
95 Responses to miss r’s quiz aka retarded survey ver. 1.67.3
Alright, #5 is disturbing. They don’t mean me, right?
… Right? hello.
I prefer #20.
Woeful, you’re the one with the ripley abs
As for number 11…
Jeez that is a damn long quiz.
—
21. Today I…
laughed at the misfortunes of others
—
Right here. This right here. This one statement earns you my love (ah!!) and devotion fo’ EVAH.
I am going to do the entire quiz in comment box…as I am a jackass.
1. My ‘ex’ is….
dear enough to not to discuss in a survey
2. I am listening to…
a Stevie Nicks song
3. Maybe I should…
write something for my own website
4. I love..
infrequently, but intensely
5. My best friend…
I’m not allowed to say his real name to preserve his anonymity. You probably know his cat.
6. I don’t understand…
long division
7. I lost my respect for…
good judgement
8. I last ate…
bowl of special K with berries
9. The meaning of my display name is…
King Warrior strong-brave (breakdown of real name)
10. Love is…
not about possession
11. Somewhere…
a Panda is fighting a Shark. I suspect its awesome.
12. I will always…
be somewhat feral
13. Love seems to be…
more subjective than it should
14. I never ever want to lose…
my rather battered naivety
15. My mobile phone is…
able to survive three drunken hour of hot tub revelry
16. When I woke up this morning…
had morning wood such that I almost hand to hand stand to urninate
17. I get annoyed at…
people telling me what I think
18. Parties…
make me defensively gregarious
19. My pet(s)…
is spherical
20. Kissing…
capable of producing an altered state if done right
21. Today I…
haven’t done much yet
22. I wish…
rarely these days
23. I really want…
Max to be happy
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY (as opposed to my usual devious lies?)—
What would you rather be called?
01. Sweetie or Honey:
either. It’s buddy, chief, and guy that make me want to punch people in the face.
02. Darling or Hun:
hun. I associate it with truck stop waitresses, and I love truck sotp waitresses.
PRESENTLY-
01. is your hair wet?:
shaved close enough it’s hard to tell
02. is your cell phone right by you?:
nope
03. do you miss someone?:
a little, yeah.
04. are you wearing chap stick?
I have a little morning crud in corners of my mouth…does that count?
05. are you tired?
not at all
06. are you excited?
I’m getting there
07. are you watching tv?
no, I’m on the computer
08. are you wearing pajamas?:
naked at the start of the quiz… put on pajama pants when the chair started chafing..
HAVE YOU-
01. recently done anything you regret?:
surprisingly no
02. ever lied?:
I don’t buy into objective reality
03. ever stuck gum under a desk?
I built a little gum city in public school
04. ever kicked someone?:
hundreds of times a week
05. ever tripped over your own feet?:
fractured my skull doing that in grade three.
TODAY-
01. have you cursed?:
I haven’t actual spoken yet.
02. yelled at someone?
see above
03. have you gotten mad at someone?:
yes
RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: yes
Q: do you have any siblings?
A: 2
Q: Do you want children?
A: not at the moment
Q: do you smile often?
A: I grin like the village idiot. I look like a arryan poster boy when I don’t though…so it’s probably a good thing.
Q: do you wish on stars?
A: i try and get by on my own merits
Q: do you like your handwriting?
A: In the way one would love their retarded child
Q: are your toenails painted?
A: one is kind of purple at he moment
Q: are you a friendly person?
A: provided you seem like good person: extremely. If I don’t like or trust someone though there is no ambiguity about it.
Q: who’s bed did you sleep in last night?
A: here and there
Q: what size ring do you wear?
A: I don’t wear jewelry of any sort
Q what color shirt are you wearing?
A: flesh tone with black fur highlights.
Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday?
A: some indiscrete but very pleasant
Q: I can’t wait until…
A: i’m pretty Zen about the whole journey thing
Q: Is tom on your friends list?
A: I hate myspace with the passion of thousand suns. If I want hang out with sexual predators and teenagers I join the boyscouts.
Q: Look to your right:
A: Three pairs of boxing gloves, 2 40lbs cast weights, curling bar, compression shorts for jock that is too small, large box of books
Q: Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
A: twice.
AJ, I’ll see your jackass, and raise you one.
Wait… that didn’t sound right.
1. My ‘ex’ is….
What’s an ‘ex’?
2. I am listening to…
the lonely sound of keys on the keyboard
4. I love..
really annoying puns, and the stuff I write about on my blog
5. My best friend…
is someone I’ve known since 7th grade
6. I don’t understand…
people who take themselves too seriously
7. I lost my respect for…
underwear
8. I last ate…
half an apple, and was pissed because my peanut butter jar was empty
9. The meaning of my display name is…
one of the more intensely emotional things a man can do
10. Love is…
about the breaking down ego boundaries
11. Somewhere…
teenage girls are being sold into slavery, don’t know what awaits them, and the rest of the world doesn’t stop to notice
12. I will always…
annoy people… and enjoy it
13. Love seems to be…
pretty elusive sometimes
14. I never ever want to lose…
my sense of child-like wonder when I look at the ocean, the stars, or a really cool sunset
15. My mobile phone is…
never out of my control
16. When I woke up this morning…
I wished I was a morning person for the 12,188th time
17. I get annoyed at…
intolerance and bigotry
18. Parties…
are more fun sober, but nobody seems to realize that
19. My pet(s)…
is so annoying to me that I’m tempted to say things that would offend many pet-lovers
20. Kissing…
can be orgasmic
21. Today I…
am spending too much time taking this quiz, and not enough working
22. I wish…
I had two more wishes
23. I really want…
to lose about 20 lbs
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY (as opposed to my usual devious lies?)—
What would you rather be called?
01. Sweetie or Honey:
neither
02. Darling or Hun:
Hun, because it reminds me of Attila
PRESENTLY-
01. is your hair wet?:
not unless I’m sweating way more than I should
02. is your cell phone right by you?:
duh
03. do you miss someone?:
Mom & Dad
04. are you wearing chap stick?
I’m chapstic-agnostic… I do not believe there is enough evidence to prove that chapstick exists or doesn’t
05. are you tired?
let me finish the 64oz mug of coffee, and I’ll tell you then
06. are you excited?
I’m too old for that
07. are you watching tv?
no, my brain rots enough from blogging… don’t need to add to the rot with TV at work
08. are you wearing pajamas?:
if I am, then my co-workers are very annoyed
HAVE YOU-
01. recently done anything you regret?:
nope
02. ever lied?:
I never lie, always tell the truth, and am omnicient
03. ever stuck gum under a desk?
yes, and I was kind enough to eat a different piece the next day, so mine would be fresh for someone else
04. ever kicked someone?:
since I’m being nice to pets here, no
05. ever tripped over your own feet?:
this is why I don’t dance, roller skate, or do anything sexual standing up
TODAY-
01. have you cursed?:
it’s been days or weeks
02. yelled at someone?
it’s been years, as long as typing in ALL CAPS in email or chat doesn’t count
03. have you gotten mad at someone?:
briefly, but mostly at myself, since anger is generally a response to being hurt, and wanting to get even
RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: of course
Q: do you have any siblings?
A: 3
Q: Do you want children?
A: not more
Q: do you smile often?
A: yes, and it makes people wonder what I’m up to
Q: do you wish on stars?
A: I wished on Angelina and Brad, and you see how that turned out
Q: do you like your handwriting?
A: yes, because most anyone can read it
Q: are your toenails painted?
A: not as far as anyone online knows
Q: are you a friendly person?
A: to a fault
Q: who’s bed did you sleep in last night?
A: my own
Q: what size ring do you wear?
A: something big enough for fat fingers
Q what color shirt are you wearing?
A: stripes, with colors that I can’t identify
Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday?
A: at the gym
Q: I can’t wait until…
A: that kiss thing happens, mentioned above
Q: Is tom on your friends list?
A: only when he’s peeping
Q: Look to your right:
A: a calendar from Hawaii, a framed romantic poem that I wrote 5 years ago, and a picture with the caption “The quieter you become, the more you hear” (which I clearly don’t pay any attention to
Q: Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?
A: no. if I cry publicly, it’s pretty uneventful. the few times I have heart-wrenching tears, it’s in private, and leaves mascara all over the bed
Wait… I should’ve left out that part
Damn you woman! Perfecting the grammar, syntax and bon mots indeed. Whatever happened to artistic license? Hell, whatever happened to artisitic licentiousness?
Speaking of which…. nice pics. Hubba hubba.
~miss r
p.s. Jump the hottie downstairs
Oh, forget the quiz. I can’t do it just yet. What I want to know is, Max, is that you? Almost looks like Virginia Madsen! Cute pic…
I’ll take this later when this headache goes away. Bad wine, bad!
Woeful, I thought you would like that one.
Ms. Pants, I love you too.
Hey, Michele.
Valliant, oh my.
Firm, oh my again.
Rachel, that is a really fun survey.
Stil, yes, it is me, and it pains me, pains me, to put an image that non-aesthetic up, that was just for you because you asked.
I love it! Now tell me that’s not a cigarette in your hand…
SG, I was hoping to hear the same thing
Of course it is a cigarette. I am an unapologetic smoker and will not pretend I am trying or want to quit.
Darn it… I was hoping you were just glad to see me.
Hear what? I love you, Firm?
Max, no lectures from me. I vaguely remember a post that said you were an unapologetic comment deleter, too lol
So I’m not going there!
Well, that works too. ;)
Stilletto, LOL!
Yeah. That too. [wink]
Dare I ask which answer the “Oh my again” was in reference to?
It is a cumulative oh my.
I knew I shoulda left the part about kicking pets out of there
Sadly, a six-pack no more (I used to train with one of the regional “natural” bodybuilding champs)… I like food (and drink) now. I still lift, and I’m still thin, but I’ll never be that defined again.
Max, I was actually thinking that you look a lot like Tricia Helfer… Which is to say, beautiful!
Oh wow, thanks, Woeful. Number Six is stunning.
I think she is beautiful too Woeful. I kept thinking she reminds me of someone or I’ve seen her before. Of course I have no idea who Tricia Helfer is so that wouldn’t be it for me. Max, I like your smile.
I was on the train a while back and some teenage girls thought I was Daryl Hannah. That was very funny. It got more funny too because I told them I was not, and then they thought I was just being covert or something and did not believe me.
Yeah, I can totally see Tricia Helfer, too.
Wow, I wish I could be mistaken for Darryl Hannah- the only person I was ever mistaken for was Irene Cara- the singer- remember her?
That was pretty cool- until people would like scream into my face, ” I hate that F*(&^ song ”
It’s true.
amm
Wow. Sucks to be Irene Cara. People really did that? That is totally rude.
[Those girls clearly had at some time done unfortunate experiments with illicit substances I do not look like Daryl Hannah.]
I do not really have that long delicate face those women have. My face is rounder and I am more a Katee Sackhoff than a Tricia Helfer. [Can you believe they blew up Starbuck? I am so mad.]
Okay- I started to follow the Battlestar Stuff so that when it came up I’d be on board…I heard that actress that plays Starbuck had her contract renewed- or did they just buy her contract out?
I saw this on the Net -so it could be BS
anyway,just curious.
What you didn’t tell them, Max, is that the glow in the pool is not from lights, it is from your radiant beauty. Your smile makes my heart do a little flutter.
A.J. Valliant–you are the winner of my next online crush on a man. Max still holds top dibs on my online crush of a woman, but then that would still be obvious.
Wow, Lulu, you are totally poetic today.
Anita, I do not know, I fell behind and then catching up wham her ship exploded. I am traumatized.
[By the way if I find out who gave my email address to the “find love” spam machine I will be spanking someone. Jeez, that thing is just relentless and pelting me.]
I sill think that you look like Jessica Lang.
Oh and it wasn’t me who gave out your email address. I’ve been getting those fucking things as well.
I could be worse. A buddy of mine got me on the AARP mailing list for my 30th birthday. That bastard.
At least you get ‘find love’ SPAM.
I get SPAM from a place that wants to help me get bigger body parts- if you know what I mean.
As to the AARP- if you really want to get even Tommy send your buddy stuff on nursing homes.
amm
“A.J. Valliant–you are the winner of my next online crush on a man.”
Yesssss! My hard work in the manwhore trenches is finally starting to pay dividends.
Manwhore Trenches?
A.J. nobody causes my brain to freeze like you can- that phrase and the one about punching cats-see you’re doing it again!
Within the same week, I was mistaken for Troy Aikman by one guy and John Madden by another. Go figure.
Now that’s just cool
“Manwhore trenches”?
This is why I have to marry that guy. Well, this and the little outfits.
I worked on an Indie film They tried to make Daryl Hannah look old and ugly and they couldn’t do it. It was kind of funny.
It is weird and funny they would try. “Hey, let’s hire this vibrant beautiful actress and then slather her with make up till she is old and ugly looking.” That makes no sense to me.
Jennifer, we need to get you an avatar. It is like you are the stepchild around here with no pretty picture.
Should I take it personally that Jennifer mentioned old and ugly after I posted something about looking like John Madden?
Katee Sackhoff doesn’t look anything like Daryl Hannah. I am reading your blog backwards……….
Firm, LOL — that is a coincidence of timing I am sure.
I do not look like Daryl Hannah. I just look like “somebody,” so people plug whatever is closest in their heads in.
LOL. Funny girl. I never have clever answers for these quizes. So I just don’t do them.
Pretty avaatars lead tp stalkers……lol
Do not blame the avatar. Blame the stalker[s].
So is there Avatar R us or where do you get an avatar. Is it a word press thing?
You can do an avatar or image on blogspot, but it will not transfer over here. Over here you have to have a wordpress account and then upload an image to that account to create the avatar. But. You do not have to have a wordpress blog to do that. You can create a wordpress account, with no wordpress blog, link it back to your blogspot as your blog, and upload an avatar.
I know that sounds convoluted but it really is not. It is easy to set up a wordpress account sans blog. And then just upload the avatar image and stick in your blogspot url in your profile and voila you are set. I have done it for other people and it was fast and easy.
Oh, avatars are images you decide you want to have as your sort of icon of representation. It can be an image of anything. From anywhere. The only thing that really matters is, some images look pretty good compressed down small, and some do not translate to small sizes. So you pick something that works on a small scale. I think they are about 50 px by 50 px here after they get cropped and compressed down.
I have a wordpress blog but I don’t know how to drive it.
wp blog
Link back to my blogspot…..? Icon of representation…..LOL I don’t know why that makes me laugh.
Oh look I am logged in now and I think I already have one.
Lets see what this is……….lOL it can fun to be stupid……lol
It has my full name ……that sucks.
Oh you are a ninja, look at that.
You can change the name, you go into your profile and put in what you want to have show as your “display name.”
Ninja? What are you drinking?
Thanks for the lesson on WP ….. I think shw is a rainbow biotch.
Oh you are all fixed up now. That is not a standard assigned avatar so you are totally making that up you had to choose that.
[also i pulled your last name off those two posts you are set]
I choose it when ever I made the blog in January. That is why I had the concept of shopping for an avatar. I probably thought it didn’t work. But today there it was just waiting when you said I needed a WP account.
Are you calling me a liar…….LOL ? That ‘s funny! You crack me up.
Thanks for fixing things…….
I am a ninja solver.
Night ninja : )
I am going to be up till at least five working on something here. You go have sweet dreams for me, I will not be dreaming much for myself tonight. Smooch!
What a pretty avatar, Jennifer.
Now if we could just get you to move your entire blog over to WordPress so we don’t have to type in that blasted word verification code.
Well that would be good too, then I could track comments too. Ooh la la.
[Cue the Borg.]
Say, I should be really traumatized the second I put up a bathing suit picture here, stats tanked, right?
No, I think your stats instantly shot up around the “F*ck Me” post lol
LOL!
BTW, you never did say…who took the picture?
Some friends with a camera phone.
Darn! I was hoping there was a story behind it. Well, I’m sure there is, but you know, one of Skinamax proportions.
Bow chica chica, bow chica chica
heehee
SG, I think the tune you’re thinking of goes…
“Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom, don’t cha just love it, chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom…”
How’s about chicka-chicka-womp-womp?
Like I heard these guys at my bus stop say they were goin for some ‘chicka-chicka -womp-womp’ and they weren’t comin back till they scored.
God.
You can’t make stuff like that up.
Hmmm… I was thinking of an old song from the 70’s. I feel old… again.
You and me both- I feel old every time my kids go through my CD’s, hold one up and ask- ” hey, are these guys stil alive?”
Geeeezeeee.
It’s almost as bad as hearing “what’s a 45 again?”
Neither one of you is too old to be spanked stop feeling old this is a frisky place.
You talking about a group spanking? I’ve seen some weird stuff, but that’s just off the charts.
You will cry like it is your bithday Firm.
I have no doubt, but I’m past crying about the b-day. I just celebrate by tripping young whippersnappers that pass me at the crosswalk.
Oh that is evil I like it.
Spanking- wow, it must be Friday- hot darn it is a weekend!
Is this the castle Anthrax, by any chance?
Back in the mini van Fresh Stuff.
Castle Anthrax?
Okay, I give. What’s that?
With a name like that, it has to be a computer game or a house of ill repute where women smack you around in cheap latex costumes.
So I’m the only one who’s seen The Holy Grail?
Sigh…
It’s only a rabbit.
Yes, but it’s got teeth like… THIS!!
The Castle Anthrax is where the virgins were all trying to tempt Lancelot. First, he was to spank them all. Then…
Sorry Firm- saw the Grail but all I’m thinking is Flying Cows…
OK… so we build a giant, wooden badger…
I’m on board Firm- let’s go!
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Anita, I bet they never scored either.
This place has gotten weird. With all the influx of new people, Max is surely going to gain inspiration through corruption.
Oh I am too busy wantonly flinging myself at Valliant to be corrupted by outside elements.
Oh, wait, Valliant is an outside element. Oops.