living will
A friend sent this to me —
It cracks me up.
I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Cup of coffee
Margarita
Sex
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of coffee
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate
Sex!
[And a cigarette dammit]It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the ‘fat lady sing,’ and call it a day!
*yeah, i edited it, sue me
0 Responses to living will
I’ve printed, signed and sent it to my lawyer! (But I skipped the cigarette and the Margarita and the Martini — and what is a cream gravy?)
I’ll be burgling this one – with modifications – does that make me sue-able?
Well they are wills they should be someone personalized. Though Till is not having much fun. No margaritas? Tragedy.
Love it!
This works on so many levels.
What is cream gravy?
Till. You need to make a trip down south.
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I’m a Bloody Mary fan though, but I’m always open for a frozen margarita … up here everything is pretty frozen… so, yes, Kitty, I should go south