letters from the ethos : saturday's child
Dear Blonde Assassin —
Did you get laid under the moon during the eclipse?
If not, why not?
If so, when are you posting the explicit photos with graphic detail?
I’d hate to miss those.
Signed,
Hopeful Romantic
Dear JanieBelle —
Wait, back up. I mean, um —
Dear Hopeful Romantic :
Tragically I had such a spectacular accident with six inch heels during the eclipsed moon I am currently restrained by court order from releasing photos [which were only possible using a whole bunch of mirrors and ultra light photography — did I get that right? — yet somehow some way those photos got taken — neighbors they can be so crafty and helpful during legal proceedings don’tcha know and especially when they have telescopes who knew?] but as soon as I get that court order restraining thingamajig lifted, I promise, you get photos first.
Love and Kisses,
The Blonde Assassin
You too can write the blonde assassin
Send email to :
blonde_assassin at celluloidblonde dot com
where the art work comes from :
that is stamped mail by drewish
32 Responses to letters from the ethos : saturday’s child
How did you see through my carefully crafted cover, max?????
You are truly amazing.
Kisses,
JanieBelle AKA Hopeful Romantic
P.S. So is that a 60 day restraining order, or 30?
P.P.S. It was both infrared and ultraviolet light, taken with a highly classified piece of photographic equipment borrowed from the DHS scientists who built that satellite that just came down, mounted on a pair of 8″ Ritchey-Chrétien Meade RCX400 telescopes with hydrogen alpha filters corrected with spy satellite software and taken from the third floor balcony down the street while snacking on Irish coffee and croissants and taking turns playing Unreal Tournament Classic to break the monotony while waiting for the show to begin.
Not that I know anything about that, it’s just a guess.
By the way, you should check the stitching on that thong, it’s coming a little loose at the left hip.
“How did you see through my carefully crafted cover, max?”
I owe it all to Wizard the Psychic Cat at the Santa Monica Pier.
Okay what is that second post? Is that math? Jeez, JanieBelle, this is a math free zone.
No math, silly.
Here let me translate:
Thank God someone saw it. I am beginning to think my La Perla is being totally wasted on hidden cameras.
Crap. I goofed that up a little, but eh, whatever.
:)
Oh very lovely, but the quality of the stitching was surprisingly lacking.
Hey, what’s with that little mole you have…?
I have no moles. A few interesting scars and a whole lotta freckles [dadgam freckles] but no moles. Wow, I wonder who you were actually photographing?
Maybe it was a zit.
:)
PLEASE DON’T HIT ME!!!!
You. Are. In. So. Much. Trouble.
C’mere.
Can I just go stand in the corner instead?
Ribbons o’ shame, Miss Janie, ribbons o’ shame.
[where is my freaking cover stick?]
Ribbons o’ Shame? Not I, dear max.
Everybody knows I’m shameless.
You can still wear the ribbons.
[Which Michael Keaton movie is that in, Gung Ho? I do not even remember the film well just the ribbons o’ shame they so cracked me up.]
Yep, Gung Ho.
I’ll wear the ribbons, if you put ’em on me. Deal?
Oh, and I want videotape for … um… future reference.
The preferred meathod of receipt.
Wow I so know what my next Halloween costume is now.
I don’t think so. I don’t think you have the uh… courage.
Dare ya’. Double dog dare ya’.
;)
It is not the courage, it is the gooseflesh. October is cold but if it is not below 50 degrees, it is doable. And the hottest nun outfit I have ever seen.
Well I for one am hoping for a very warm October.
Also, it will liven up your church.
That would be The Church of Max’s Tragically Bereft Stove yes?
Yes, it would. Speaking of which…Um.. Check your email. I have a strange feeling that the Blonde Assassin is being called to duty again.
But that’s just a guess.
Hey hey hey! No exposing the alter ego. Jeez.
Sorry. It was an accident. I’d never do that on purpose, and you can delete…
hey.
waitaminute….
I think my head just asploded from thinking about that too much.
The ways of the Blonde Assassin are whimsical and mysterious but always deadly.
:::whistling:::
oooo chills..
I had that little theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly go through my head, complete with the cracking whip sound.
It was kinda sexy on you, max. Think you could wear the nun outfit next you do that in my head?
Janie I live in that nun outfit. Why do you think it looked so easy to me? Silly Janie.
Is it getting warm in here, or is it just me?