Upstairs Neighbor Guy is out of his mind tonight. He has been proselytizing or something [did I spell that right?] from the balcony and now he is down in the street without his shirt on accosting pedestrians and shouting about real men and the Irish and doing sexual things to their mothers. Jeez. He must be so high.

24 Responses to jeez

  1. You certainly seem to have more than your fair share of crackpots, or is it crackheads, in your neighbourhood. Your spelling seems fine, given your location, and I was wondering what religion upstairs nutter was trying to convert people to, and from?

  2. max

    I think it is The Church of Upstairs Neighbor Guy. Something about he will show the way. I talked to him once and he said he would settle down and he did for about fifteen minutes but he has a very short attention span tonight.

  3. Your neighbors are as freaky as the people I work for.

  4. Mark S.

    He probably works for Disney. (Er, strike that, I just wrote a script I should be marketing to them.)

    The only way I could live with a screw like that living above me would be to put him in the category of ‘research’ and make him into a character in a new script.

    Sounds like a suicidal Colin Farrell type. Maybe the plot could be a reprise of Mel Gibson’s character in Lethal Weapon. Doesn’t sound like too much of a Romcom. (Hopefully it’s not a Hithcock)

    Like I said before Max, best of luck with the apartment hunting.

  5. max

    Oh he is not industry he is going to chef school.

  6. Mark S.

    Chef School = lots of sharp knives. Definitely Hithcock or a Wes Craven plot then.

  7. Mark S.

    Did I spell bloody ‘Hitchcock’ wrong again? I’m starting to feel like a 31-year-old geriatric.

  8. sulya

    Why oh why did I not know that upstairs neighbour guy was going to chef school? He’s a whole new person knowing that. A whole new person. I mean the levels of dark humour that can be woven here – I’m totally with Mark S. – this guy is nine different kinds of fodder – he’s a Monthy Python sketch “a la max” waiting to happen and even high the guy tried to have some manners for fifteen minutes so that makes him better than some of the other wingnuts you’ve had to put up with, right? That said, I’m also with Mark S. on the mondo good luck for apartment hunting. If I could pound the pavement with you, for moral support and to administer diet coke at decent intervals I totally would…

  9. max

    He did try and he professed love. It was kind of funny. “Max, I love you, for you I will be quiet.”

  10. sulya

    That kind of devotion – even if intent goes farther than action – is a good thing… I’m truly glad he’s on side now (as much as he can be)… Good man, good man.

  11. Mark S.

    ‘He did try and he professed love. It was kind of funny. “Max, I love you, for you I will be quiet.”’

    maybe I had the guy pegged wrong, Max.
    One suggestion: Ask to sample his cooking. What a guy puts in his mouth says quite a bit about who he is.

    I like that ‘Monthy Python sketch “a la max”’ idea, Sulya. Or even Bunuel. Of course it would have to sell overseas.

  12. max

    I think that a guy would put me in his mouth first is a good first indicator, Mark. I could be wrong.

  13. Oh he’s delusional. He’s probably selling Ginsu knives.

  14. In fact, if you go out with him, he’ll give you a set for free.

  15. max

    I am suspicious of any man who thinks knives are a solid inducement to dating.

  16. How about free spoons? Is that safer?

  17. max

    Okay it has been a long dry summer but I am not yet reduced to trading my graces for the promise of free cutlery.

  18. Don’t kill me Max but I was going to volunteer you:

    Hey now don’t forget I set up my girlfriend with a millionaire and she’s very happy and they’re in love. I’m good at matchmaking.

  19. Oh, to clarify – volunteer you as movie date, not as a passenger on flights for the living dead.

  20. max

    Jeez, Stil that is Andy of the infamous “fake boobs” comment? Isn’t he like 17? I am not going to a movie with a kid who comments [out loud!] on women’s implants and can get me sent to jail if he gets into my vodka.

  21. Be nice! He’s probably reading this! lol

    No he is older I think and so he fumbled at his introduction – I’m sure he’s charming!

  22. max

    “Fumbled at his introduction”?

    You are so more forgiving than I am.

  23. As LK pointed out, I’m too nice. And trusting.

  24. max

    There is nothing wrong with you. Some of the people you hang with have changed and maybe should not be in the inner circle any more. That happens and is disappointing and can sting and make for sad but does not mean you are “too” anything.

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