i want


trapezeI want a Coca Cola. I want chocolate.

I want a nectarine. I want ice cream. I cannot have any of those. I cannot swallow them. Nothing too cold. Nothing too citrus. Nothing too carbonated. Nothing too chololatey goodness with sharp little pieces of macademia nuts in it.


59 Responses to i want

  1. Either you’ve got a wicked bad sore throat or you’ve committed some sort of unspeakable crime.

    I hope you’re not sick.


  2. max

    My throat hurts like hell and I have not had a Diet Coke in three freaking days ahhh! I think the rest of me is okay.

    I. Am. So. Hungry.

    How do people with tracheotomies eat? No one ever says that on TV shows. I am freaking starving.

  3. Poor Max… Get well soon!

  4. max

    Thanks, Woeful. I am not sure I am sick. I know I appear to be injured. Jeez. I guess they mean it when they say do not try circus tricks at home that involve swords and fire.

  5. max

    Oh like jello ever staved off starvation, crazy man.

  6. “How do people with tracheotomies eat?”

    Feeding tube if it is a fresh trach. Then they eat just like everyone else.

    Have some hot cocoa at least, girl. What did this to your throat?

  7. max

    Oh wow. Feeding tube sounds bad. No one says anything about that when the frail patient is lying there in bed in a movie looking happy. I would be spitting tacks.

    Wait, that is how people end up with those trach things, right, spitting tacks and then one hiccup and oops?

    I burned it. And I am not saying how either because I am being investigated by Canada right now.

  8. And yet when they warn you about smoking, they never mention you shouldn’t put the lighted end in your mouth.

  9. You did flaming shots when you went out to support your friends band! ?

    Also, you’ve been tagged!

  10. max

    I thought that one was on page 67 right after “do not smoke after sucking on a hose protruding from a gas tank” Solnushka?

    Solnushka! You did not read the manual, did you?

    Oh, Jennifer, it is only freak luck I even know what tagging is. This should be so interesting.

  11. I can understand the coke and chocolate but a nectarine? Ok, confess – you’re just trying to trick us into thinking you eat healthy on occasion.

    BTW, what is tagging?

    Oh, and get better! But I think we all want to know how you burnt your throat!

  12. Oh no Max, I’m sick now too! For real. Illness through osmosis? My throat is swollen. What did you do to me? Booby trap your site with germs?

  13. I tagged you with a Thinkng Blogger Award. See my blog for details.

  14. Wait. I got it! Eggs over easy! Very yolky!

  15. Oops, I meant sunny side up!

  16. max

    Jeez Michele if I have any more tea and honey I will develop a British accent. I want Coca Cola.

    Stilletto, oh no, you too?

    I found these new things from Halls called “Bursts.” They work on sore throats.

    Brent, you were a mom in another life right?

    Jen, I will go see. You are living dangerously. [smile]

  17. Awe.


    Sorry to hear that :(

    I will second the use of Bursts, those things have been saving me recently.

    Get better!

  18. max

    Thanks, Missed. You are back. Did the trip cure drama pangs?

  19. Haha, somewhat. I’m in the process of phasing out said drama, but it’s a long process.

    I’ll be fine by June I’m thinking.

  20. max

    Oh you will make fancy Easter eggs and get ink on your paws and be all ready for spring and new love. Spring is like that.

  21. Oh I’ve been ready for new love for well over a year. :D I’m actually going to be doing more fancy eggs in two weeks with some friends, VERY excited.

  22. max

    Are you doing Battle of Helm’s Deep? I have to see Battle of Helm’s Deep Easter eggs and I cannot make my own.

  23. Hehehehe.

    Actually when I was up there before I tried to make a scene from the Hobbit, but it was uber hard. I may try it again this time. My geek quota has been soooo lacking as of late.

  24. max

    It is month’s past Christmas how can you live with yourself?

  25. max

    Okay, this is it, it has been three days with frosty beverages taunting me from the fridge, I am going in.

    If I am not heard from shortly someone call the paramedics.

  26. I’m wondering if that is 3:53 your time or 3:53 my time?

    How was it?

  27. max

    It is awesome. I am taking little sips. I am so happy.

  28. max

    ps : i think it is making me high i am light headed and blinkey

  29. aj

    I have wanted Coca-Cola for 126 days. What a miserable existence.

  30. max

    You poor bastard. I am so sorry.

    Wait, who am I feeling sorry for? You can eat chocolate.

    [You can eat chocolate right? Tim Tams?]

  31. Nope not a mom, just a hell of a man –the type that most women only dream of.

    btw smart women are sexy.

  32. aj

    Yes I can eat chocolate and do so frequently.

  33. max

    You are hoarding Tim Tams I just know it.

  34. Dammit AJ. You made me hungry for tarts on your blog and now you are over here making me crave chocolates at Max’s place.

    Glad you had your Coke, Max. That means your throat is all healthy again and you will be cracking whips at workshoppers to get pages done.

    :::writing, I swear:::

  35. There are a lot of big egos in this thread lol

  36. Oops, sorry. I meant on your blog as of late lol

    “…just a hell of a man –the type that most women only dream of.”

  37. max

    I do not think I could run with people who did not have egos I would accidentally mow them down or something.

  38. I don’t think it’s ego to say I’m the most important person in the universe. I think it’s the truth.

    Those useful tips for smokers were in the manual, were they? Unfortunately I fell asleep in bed and the ciggarette hanging from my bottom lip slid off and ignited the bedclothes and those pages must have got a bit charred.

  39. max

    Oh Solnushka, those bed clothes were asking for it.

    Stilletto, that is right I was not thinking about that. He is very confident.

  40. What, you mean you don’t like lime green polyester tastefully sprinkled with small pink and yellow flowers?

  41. Double yikes!

    Oh, I agree. I rather like people with a bit of an ego. They are usually sweeties once you get to know them.

  42. max

    Writers have insane egos. We pretend we do not. And in Hollywood writers are the least obvious of the flamboyants — it is easy to look demure in the crowd of crazed directors and actors. But, we do not just think people should read what we say, we do not even just think people should listen to it, we think they should pay for the privilege and mount a multi milliion dollar production of it. That is pretty solid ego.

  43. I’ve learned something from being involved in Politics- you HAVE to have a solid over abundance of ego- because after a few go rounds what you do have will be shredded and used for mulch in somebody’s less then cheery garden o’ life-so you best have some to spare.

    Now that I’m writing- and have been told I should consider a switch to a career in telemarketing ( oh bite me ) it sort of rolls off
    the old back.

    But I can see how people can get to the summit of Ego Mountain with little to no effort in this field.

  44. max

    No. Not with no effort. It takes so much effort, and you have to keep going in spite of so much in your face brutal rejection, not to mention society considers any kind of artistic pursuit frivolous and selfish and wrong and will guilt you out of it in a second if you give anyone including family even a chance — only the fighters who can just say “fuck you you are wrong” and keep going survive.

  45. Now fighting is something I can do- but when it gets hard I just write another story put it on my blog and tell all my friends to go read it.

    I don’t know what else to do … but it works. I’ve always been a little defiant I guess.

    Plus I just read other writers ( ahem ) and it gives me a boost.


  46. max

    I can do cold again.

    I got to eat ice cream today.

    :::happy sigh:::

  47. And all is right with the world- have a Ben and Jerry’s …the world is full of Ben and Jerry’s.

    In fact, I think I might join you…

  48. Do you do low fat? Try low fat Cherry Garcia – it rocks! Glad to hear you’re better!

  49. max

    Oh I do not believe in low fat. I only drink Diet Coke because my dentist made me switch.

  50. Stiletto you are wise…Cherry Garcia…go for it Max…CHERRY GARCIA.

  51. max

    I like vanilla. I am dull.

  52. You’re not dull…think of the possibilities…Vanilla with M&M’s, Vanilla with fruit…and


  53. I hate Vanilla! Unless it’s a swirl but that’s only because they ran out of chocolate. You know a box of Neapolitan is mine when the vanilla remains completely untouched!

    Is there such a thing as gummy bear ice cream?

  54. max

    Probably. There is gummy bear everything else. And I mean everything else. Jeez.

    Okay technically I like macadamia brittle and butter pecan and also rocky road. I do not really like plain chocolate so much though. That may have more to do with an unfortunate association with chicken pox than with the ice cream.

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