and now in an uncharacteristically impetuous move

Okay now I am playing with an entirely different template.

How, um, out of character.

[not really]

p.s. since i am not being funny today and this is very funny you should go read it: questions i want to ask potential new roommates based on experiences with the roommate he will be replacing….

I can, by the way, add a few pertinent roommate questions to village idiot’s survey:

Do you think you are being stalked by Tori Amos?
Do you drop the fact you are the missing Kennedy bastard heir and that is why your cuckholded father tried regularly to strangle you as a child into casual conversation?
If the above answer is yes, is this with your friends, or your roommate’s visitors?
Does this happen on a regular basis?
Does “regular basis” mean a) monthly; b) weekly; c) hourly?
Do you sublet your room when you take weekend “jaunts” to short term strangers you meet on the internet?
Do you mention the fact you will be letting out your room to complete strangers on a monthly basis to your roommates or is it just better to meet the strangers half naked in your bathrobe because that is more friendly?
Do you stomp in platform shoes and scream at odd moments of the day or night?
If the answer to the above is yes, does this go on for a few minutes or several hours?
Do you invite your mother to stay for two weeks without informing roommates?
Do you and your mother scream at each other at 3 am?
If the answer to the above is yes, does this go on for a few minutes or several hours?
When you rip the carpeting out of your room to paint the floor, do you paint the floor, or distribute your bedroom furniture and personal belongings liberally around the living area and leave town for two weeks?
Does your [very loud] cowgirl themed cell phone go off at 5 am and keep ringing because “friends” just figure if they dial enough times someone will answer?
What do you consider an appropriate location for your [very loud] cowgirl themed cell phone? Directly outside my bedroom door? Or in your bedroom?
Do you break keys off in the front door requiring all residents and guests to enter and exit through a front window?
Do you turn on gas appliances and wander away down the street?
How about water taps?
Do you leave dildoes or “strap ons” on the bathroom sink next to other people’s toothbrushes?
If the answer to the above is yes, are they just in close proximity to other people’s toothbrushes or physically touching other people’s toothbrushes?