hell in boots


These are really cute —

Boots. Also they are on clearance sale. I keep looking at these boots.

I really like these boots.

I would like to get these boots.

Here is the problem.

They are “Jessica Simpson” boots.

I just do not know if I can wear a boot called a Jessica Simpson boot. I mean, I am willing go to a podiatrist to pay for wearing boots with a heel that high, but I am not willing to sell my soul and isn’t that what you do if you wear something named “The Jessica Simpson Boot”?



0 Responses to hell in boots

  1. Maybe tell ppl they’re Lisa Simpson boots.

    They look like the sort of thing Lisa would wear. If she was, you know, grown up and all.

  2. I would buy the boots. Anyway.

  3. Maybe call them Ashford and Simpson boots. That might regain your composure . . .

  4. If it was me (and it won’t be, because I am far too klutzy to walk in said boots), I would tell people up front that they were Jessica Simpson boots. Then, when they looked at me sideways, I’d say, “Not THAT Jessica Simpson! The extremely exclusive and much sought-after shoe designer, Jessica Simpson.”

    Then, I would continue to shoot them sideways glances that said, “You are painfully provincial, and I’m reevaluating my friendship with you” without ever saying a word.

    Mmm hmm. That’s what I’d do.

  5. Sarah

    Gah. I’ve had this dilemma as well. I’ll pick up a supercute (one word) shoe and coo until I see that script font inside proclaiming them to be of the Jessica Simpson ilk. Then I snarl and put them back down. I’m not going to buy shoes associated with a vapid waste of a good rack who doesn’t even know the difference between chicken and tuna.

    I feel your pain.

  6. I’m from Seattle
    The ugly shoe(s) capital of the world.
    Nuff said.

  7. max

    Well probably I am a snob I have difficulty wearing any piece of clothing that is named after a celebrity who is alive. Audrey Hepburn is different. Her name on a piece of clothing is an homage. But slap Paris, Britney or Jessica on there….

  8. max

    [Seattle so is the ugly shoes capital of the world I do not understand that but it is the truth.]

  9. In Seattle there’s a Starbuck’s Coffee shop on every corner and on every other corner there’s a Payless Volume Shoe Source

    Just saying.

  10. Sarah

    But there’s a Fluevog store in Seattle. Fluevog!!

    Okay, fair enough. I actually like most fluevogs because they’re quirky.

    And I’m aware most people use “quirky” as an adjective for “ugly.”


  11. max

    Oh jeez, Fluevog. The epitomy of Seattle shoe wrongness. I had to fight so hard to talk one of my writers out of Fluevog for Hollywood meetings.

    Me: You cannot wear those to meetings.
    Him: But they’re Fluevog!
    Me: My point exactly.

  12. I just googled Fluevog. I made the mistake of clicking “Men” first.

    I will not be clicking “Women.”

    (When even Pooks thinks they’re horrid? They must be horrid.)

  13. Kym

    Max, you would look awesome in those boots and pencil jeans. Forget other people, just check your pocket book.

    Wait, how many pairs of shoes do you have….?

    Maybe I better rethink that advice.

  14. max

    Pooks I went and looked and the flame shoes are not on site, it is too bad you should have seen the flame Fuevogs he wanted to wear to meetings.


    Kym, I had almost given up the boots but then you mentioned the boots with pencil jeans.

    Damn. It. They would look really good with pencil jeans.

  15. Do the boots actually say “Jessica Simpson” on any visible surface?

    Do you have to ever admit it? “Oh, these? I picked them up on sale.” End of subject.

  16. tj

    I’d say souls are overrated and just buy the boot but they are prolly all left footed or something…

  17. max

    “Do you have to ever admit it?”

    No but I would probably blurt it out. Also now anyone who has read the blog would know. They would be the nefarious Jessica Simpson boots.

    I could try them on…that way lies hell or instant release.

  18. Brut

    Olde Brutarian saying, “Eet is naut de boot that maters may de soul that ees een eet.”
    It reads a little weird… I didn’t know how to put the umlaut on the u.

  19. Eddie

    What would Nat X do?

  20. max

    “What would Nat X do?”

    Get the boots written into the front end of her contract along with a trailer and on location masseuse.

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  22. I don’t know — I really don’t know — they look a bit like some walled towers / too hard a look.

    I prefer strings. The world is filled with strings. Strings you can undo… Buckles are harder to handle. You can get hurt with buckles. [Yes I know there is a zip sometimes on the inner side, still–]

    [you can censor this awkward post]

    Are there any other boots you’d like to wear, out there?

    What about a pair of nice sandal?

    [[[Fryes’ Gabby Buckle T eventually? — don’t kill me, I’m a helpless little poster –]]]

    Plz post pictures just in case.


  23. At least they aren’t O.J. Simpson boots. You’d have a problem in that case. Just call them “Nick’s Ex” boots. That sounds cooler anyway. Go with the middle ones. They’re hot.

  24. Pingback: tragedy strikes in a boot « celluloid blonde

  25. I suppose it’s too late to tell you, Don’t do it!

  26. max

    LOL — too late. But I had to know.

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