good god no

 

What happens when you cross Peruvian Immigrant Chic with Betsy Ross, a bedazzler gun, and ill fitting white 80’s stirrup pants?

That is right, sports fans, Ralph Lauren’s 2014 US opening ceremony uniforms for the Winter Olympics.

Someone please call Tim Gunn.

 

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I have heard some cries of, but have you seen Norway! Um, yes I have, and I will not even post a photo here one shockingly bad fashion shot is enough thank you but you can :::go see too if you must:::. Let me point out though, arm wrestling Norwegian curlers for worst dressed at the Olympic opening ceremonies is perhaps not the high bar to be reaching for here.

[ahem]

Instead —

Let’s take a look at some of the better dressed future attendees of the Olympic ceremonies.

Go Netherlands! Wow, real clothes and a sense of elegance, look at the tie! Look a the plaid! Look at the vest! Nice.

Wait, too upscale for you? Want something more wintery?

Estonia is nice. Simple. Classic. Winterey. Also, cute dogs! Yay!

And then there are our northern neighbors —

I have heard word on the street is people were making fun of Canada saying the Canadian uniforms were “too plain.” Hello, people, after getting a glimpse of the USA and Norwegian outfits? Canada’s “plain” outfits may be the only thing standing between you and pattern induced seizure if you tune in to the ceremonies.

 

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:::see more international olympics outfits:::

:::see history of usa olympic uniforms – photo retrospect:::

:::read hilarious blogher olympic uniform wtf panel commentary:::