four seconds

I was an hour late to the lunch. I have never been a star of punctuality but that is pretty late even for me. Especially when I can walk to it.

I finally asked how.

I knew the answer would be bad. It always is when people do not say, up front, how.

I have been paralyzed ever since. Thinking.

It takes four seconds to hit when you go off the Golden Gate. Four seconds is long enough to think it was a mistake. Long enough to want to take it back. Long enough to feel and see and hear it coming.

People hit going seventy-five miles per hour.

Four seconds to hit — going faster than it is legal to drive.


23 Responses to four seconds

  1. My Grandmother was with my Grandfather when he died. She never talked about it, all she said was that it only took a minute or so.

    They were together for over 60 years- good ones.

    I don’t care how I go- if I my last minute is like that one I’ll call it good.


  2. max

    Clearly this calls for one thing and one thing only :

    i can has cheezburger?

  3. HA!
    Been there and here’s my favorite set- I think the cats were way more scary….but I live with Insanity soooo…..

  4. But don’t forget this one- I used to dress Insanity up…actually that explains a lot.

  5. max

    It is just impossible to get too down when you can go look at photos of little cats in funny outfits.

  6. I’ll give you that Max, but when I need a boost and little cats in cute outfits doesn’t work-

    I call my Sister and tell her I lied- all those stories I told her about finding her floating in a basket in Green Lake like Baby Moses? THEY WERE TRUE. I tell her I fibbed and said they weren’t to make her feel more secure as an adult.

  7. max


    When in doubt, torture siblings. Yay!

  8. I called Es Baby Moses for so long and so often and that guess what…yes sir over 30 later and my friends still call her

    Baby Moses.

    Call if you want to join the fun, I’m a giving person and believe in sharing the joy.


  9. max



    Also what was the doll torture story again?

  10. Oh the Baby Alive!

    Es had a dream that her Baby Alive Doll came to life so she took it and buried it under a bunch of clothes in her closet.

    I’d dig it out every single night ( from wherever she hid it..and let me tell you she came up with some novel places to hide that thing ) and I’d put it at the foot of her bed or on her nightstand- someplace where I thought she’d see it as soon as she woke up.

    You’d never guess that one day I’d be considered an expert in helping familes deal with Grief.

    Oh wait…actually it does figure.


  11. max

    I love the doll story.

    I have three ways of coping with grief. Seek comfort in the arms of a man. Find something funny to make me laugh. Lash out in some hostile and often inappropriate though not always way.

    Torturing siblings is totally new but my siblings are no fun to torture clearly I need the power of Es here.

  12. Anita Marie, I am thanking everything in the Universe that you were not my older sister because I would have shat myself daily!

    I deal by smoking lots of pot and sleeping. I have a comfy bed and if you look in the box on the top left shelf of my entertainment center, you may or may not find herbal sleep aids. Call first and I’ll leave the key in the cat tent outside.

    And also: Invisible Buttsecks!!

  13. Hey Max- Comfort is good, laughing is good lashing out means you need to repeat step one and two a lot of times- trust me on that.

    But don’t worry, I’ve heard you can actually FEDEX people. I mean it’s just an Urban Legend but STILL. I’d be willing to give it a shot.

    Plus I haven’t even got around to my ” how I drove my brother into Looney Town and left him there for fun ” stories.

    And Ms Pants- had I been your sister no way would I have scared you into having a bathroom malfunction. You’d probably being doing a lot of drugs and sleeping a lot but… HEY…you’re not- no. Hey. I’m checking your profile..right now.

  14. max

    Oh. My. God.

    What kind of mind sees that cute little cat and thinks that?

    I am laughing so hard.

    And —

    I fogot there were chocolate turtles in the fridge. Yay!

  15. sulya

    For me it is all about the movies I’ve seen before. The ones with good kisses and saucy, sexy flirty banter where lovers come together in the end.

    The ones where the characters who most deserve it always get their comeuppance.

    The ones where even when things are tense I can be certain it will all come out okay (because I have seen them a million times).

    If they are a little corny, more the better.
    If the lead male is delicous, more the better.

    For me, in grief and sadness, all roads – essentially – lead to the romantic comedy.

    And chocolate. And potato chips. And more chocolate.

    I do need to check out these cats in costumes though…

  16. max

    Hmm. I could just put the Supernatural towel scene on repeat and veg out for an hour watching Sammy’s pec jolt.

  17. sulya

    Now yer thinkin’, pretty lady, now yer’ thinkin’…

    And keep those turtles to hand, if you haven’t already scarfed them down.

    The jolting peck – the jolt of sugar.

    Bring it on.

  18. Pingback: I can has Max happy « California Blogging

  19. Mashed patatoes are the best but chilled chocolate turtles would work in a pinch. Movie time for sure….

  20. Ms Pants smokes pot?

    Ms Pants is cool.

  21. max

    Rumor is she makes gummy bears dance around little pot campires.

  22. If I saw that I’d have to question what was in my pipe lol

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