five freaking things....

Okay Kitty just tagged me and because and only because I so love Kitty, I will actually do this —


Five Freaking Things You Do Not Need to Know About Me :

1. I drink. Like a maniac. I am probably black out drunk right now. Fuck, this drunk I might even have sex with you — say, are you male or female?

2. I sell drugs. To children. If you are over five forget it, but hey, if you are a kid? How do you feel about cocaine?

3. I am really fond of priests. And math teachers. Will this be on the final exam? If I take off my clothes, will this be on the final exam? What the hell is a final exam anyway?

4. I smoke. Asbestos. It is fiber damn you.

5. So while I was black out drunk selling drugs to four year olds and sexing it up with an old priest who taught math in my asbestos fiber sexy suit AND smoking, I had this thought: What is the meaning of life? Do not give me that old 42 rigamorole either, my last name is Adams you fool.


Whew. Thank goodness that frenzy is over. Say, what were the questions again? Oh, right, five things you do not know about me. I now officially tag —

Woeful | Stilletto | Jen | Vanessa | Firm | Ms. Pants

I would tag that cute Valliant Guy too but he is too cool to do tags. Damn him.

100 Responses to five freaking things….

  1. Thanks Max, you’re my first!

  2. Ohhh… I nary read a blog for a day and a night and look what I come back to!

    Tomorrow. Tomorrow. It is nearly bedtime.

    I haven’t done a tag for a while. I always find it quite flattering, and not unfun.

    I want a asbestos fibre sexy suit. I need all the help I can get.

  3. Yeah, you’re my first, too!

    Well, if you don’t want to tag AJ, I’ll gladly oblige!

  4. Um, were number two and three supposed to be sarcastic?

  5. Um, was number two and three supposed to be sarcastic?

  6. Why did this repeat twice?

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  8. Eddie

    I normally try not to judge, but at your age hooking up with a priest is just wrong.

  9. Math teachers gosh, math teacher were usually coaches and making me run laps. I went with history teachers. In an odd state of things Priests were always wanting to screw my mother but that’s ok I always thought the nuns were hotter.

  10. Why, Eddie, is there a RIGHT age? I thought it’d be more of a gender thing…

  11. max

    Damn. Eddie is right. I am so ashamed.

    Woeful, I will try to be gentle.

    Stilletto, don’t hurt me. [wink]

    Also you know I do not have a sarcastic bone in my body I am a demure and delicate creature.

  12. See what you did, Eddie? She feels ashamed. Now she has to go to confess…to a PRIEST. What a catch 22.

  13. Pingback: 5 things you do not know about (Don’t mind the meme Mam) « Beats Entropy

  14. max

    Wow. Valliant played. He gave me a fancy new title too. I am aflutter.

  15. Blond Assassin, I think it works.

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  17. Wow ! Max, has seriously outed my blog now.

  18. max

    I am on task outing blogs.

  19. Valliant is stealthy. He doesn’t always speak but he’s lurking about.

  20. So far, your answers to the tag merely qualify you as a fundamentalist evangelist. You’ve got to do better . . . .

  21. max

    Valliant is all Byronic Hero and stuff.

    Frontier, no no no, I am angelic, not evangelic. Those evangelic types cannot dance.

  22. max

    Why do I have this image of waving a gun around shooting at my feet when you say that?

  23. LOL no, I wouldn’t but there has to be something to lure you on to the dance floor. I am having an image of a tie flash before my eyes.

  24. Where is Valliant when you need him?

  25. max

    That would depend on who was wearing the tie.

  26. As I remember how the story goes…..he doens’t keep it on for long.

  27. max

    Yes. In the story, he takes hostages.

  28. Well, as an assassin you should be more than fine in that situation.

  29. max

    I am not so sure about that. Valliant is dangerously charming and seductive taken hostage I would probably be at his mercy.

  30. yeah, that is what I mean by more than fine……LOL

  31. Yes. In the story, he takes hostages.

    Boy, this is the stuff of tag answer number five…sigh!

  32. I smoke. Asbestos. It is fiber damn you.

    You know how brilliant that is? Hmm. Gives one pause for thought.

  33. max

    “Boy, this is the stuff of tag answer number five…sigh!”

    Yep. It is hard to take the willing hostage though I so should play harder to get.

  34. Max, feign horror and try not to laugh as you’re doing it!

  35. max

    I will practice —

    Hostages? You bad bad man. I would never let you do that to me. Flounce!

    How’s that?

  36. Max, it’s Oscar worthy!

  37. max

    Cool. Now I just need an eyelash curler and a flirty fan.

  38. More like AVN worthy lol

    You can have my lash curler, Max. I go for the perm now!

  39. “Hostages? You bad bad man. I would never let you do that to me. Flounce!”

    As many in Hollyweird, she started as an actor, she ended up a writer. And thank God lol

  40. “I’m going to ask you one more time, Where..the…hell…is Rocco?”


  41. max

    It is a progressive thing. You model, but then you just look like what someone else wants to say. So then you act. But then you just say what someone else wants to say. So then you write, because God damn it you have something to say. Only then the director just fucks and distorts everything you write and you think, okay so I have to direct now too? Just how far up this freaking ladder do I have to climb?

  42. How many times on this damn couch do I gotta roll? lol oh just kidding. Actually, do you want to direct?

  43. Please say yes, please say yes…..

  44. max

    Yes. No. Ugh. It is a terrible job. Everyone’s problem is your problem and you have to get up at a disgusting hour in the morning when real humans should be going to bed not crawling out of it. But the majority of people directing have no idea what the fuck lighting is for, forget camera angles or style and or story smarts and you watch enough times something that is a real smart story going in just get hacked and destroyed till it is mediocre garbage going out and you think maybe you better because maybe that is the only way you are going to make a good movie, maybe you have to do it yourself if you want to pull that off. But it is a real hard transition to make and the timing is not good for that right now so it is not something I am doing. It is something I think about.

  45. Timing can change and when it does you’ll be ready. Interesting you think about all of those things. I’ve met some “directors” who haven’t given them one thought.

  46. max

    If you look at the really brilliant directors working, they are thinking that stuff and they are using it to tell the story, so when you watch Everything is Illuminated [Liev Shreiber] or Dear Frankie [Shona Auerbach] or About a Boy [Chris & Paul Weitz] or any of the other actually talented and imaginative directors’ works the camera and angles and motion and lights and even the colors of the film are all telling the story. And that is their job. To use those, and use them well to tell the story, and if they do not know how, damn well find someone who does to work them and use their knowledge. Any jack ass can throw a camera down and say action. Not that many people can really and truly direct though.

    Vanessa, good job.

  47. Actually, I think it’s a pretty shoddy job. I ought to have done what I usually do, which is elaborate and add photos for reference.

    Oh, well. Feeling lazy today.

  48. max

    Uh oh. I was supposed to illustrate?


  49. No, no. I just get carried away.

    Although I’m really curious about that asbestos fibre sexy suit.

  50. max

    As well you should be. It is damn provocative.

  51. Does it have a helmet?

    Hummmhaaa. Am I supposed to do some kind of pingback thingamajig? Because I have no idea….

  52. It’s just poetry, the way you describe film making. I know it’s a work of extreme details but you would hold yourself to that and make a feast for the eyes. I hope timing and all things necessary align for it.

  53. max

    “Does it have a helmet?”

    That is a secret only priests and math teachers will ever know.

    Pingbacks happen automatically if the site you are linking back to allows pingbacks and if you put a link to the post you want to pingback to in your post. It has to be a link to the post, not just the site.

    Jen. Thanks. I watch directors pretty hard because, if someone does direct my stuff and I have any say in who it is, I want it to be someone good. That makes it my job to know who is good and why. If you want to watch something really amazing some time, watch About a Boy with the sound off, just watching the camera move. That is art.

  54. I look forward to watching it. I have not seen the movie at all.

  55. Ah, thank you o’ WonderMax. Confusion abated.

    I shall be changing the link, presently.

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  57. The only one I can find on Itunes is Down to Earth by Chris and Paul Weitz.

  58. Orrrhhhh that worked a treat!

    You liddle bewdie….

  59. max

    I do not think they have it Jennifer you will be forced to rent it to see it I think.

  60. Who said fundamentalist evangelists are angelic? I was refering to Swaggart et al . . .

    And I’m sure you’ve heard this one – Why do Baptists oppose sex? It leads to dancing.

  61. max

    All this time I thought Baptists just could not do wall sex because that could be mistaken for dancing.

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  63. It’s not that Baptists can’t dance… it’s that most of them shouldn’t even try.

    As for the meme, it annoys me that I was unable to answer without putting it in the form of a poem. It’s like “Meme Jeopardy.”

  64. Well, that too . . . . coming from a lapsed Baptist

  65. “About a Boy ”

    That movie is the current record holder for flick I expect nothing out of and was actually surpisingly awesome. I was shocked that the story stayed focused on the bond between the man and the boy, without corrupting it with parental romance.

    I was also shocked how likable and diasarming Hugh Grant is when playing himself…essentially.

  66. “Valliant is all Byronic Hero and stuff”

    Mad, bad, and dangerous to know…Ah Max, you do know how to appeal to the disfunctional romantic in me.

  67. max

    Wow and I do not even have a maple finish.

  68. Drop and give me fifty.
    You are so much trouble.

  69. max


    Can I do the girly kind?

  70. Sheesh. You know, once you start this tagging business, it’s all downhill from there.

    I went all kinds of cheater on it with my tagging. But here are my 5 stinkin things.

  71. max

    I am all aflutter you are re-entering the dating frenzy. Yay!

  72. Just a toe, lady. A toe. One. The pinky one. And only the tip, not even the full toenail.

  73. max

    But I bet those toe nails are polished. I will be like a Tennyson Williams maiden aunt fluttering and lilting about gentlemen callers.

  74. Oh, I love that play. BTW, Max, if anyone can do it [direct], I’m confident you’d do a fine job.

  75. Pingback: Thank you Vanessa « California Blogging

  76. max

    I do not really like myself with power.

  77. Your Highness, You jest.

  78. ( If you are projecting it’s good timing, I was really contemplating stealing one of those facy celluloidblonde awards for myself. )

  79. This blog plays ticks on me all the time……. It’s a maze, it’s very clever.

    OR maybe this is what happens when I am off the mom blog…. I don’t see things that are there……

  80. The girly kind, on your knees. Why yes, that would so work.
    Fifty. And do not try to trick me by counting in German, I can count money in ten languages.

  81. max

    Well okay but this is going to be in sets of five with ice cream breaks in between Bossy Girl.

  82. I do not really like myself with power.

    Ok but everyone is entitled to tap into their inner Machiavellian once a while.

  83. You have Machiavelli on tap? Wow…

  84. Yes, Firm, the well never runs dry.

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  87. The wealth? All I have to share is misappropriated word-play (puns of steal). I live constantly on the edge of annoying max to the point that she bans me entirely.

    It’s what makes life worth living.

  88. I watched About A Boy. THe depth of each EACH scene is incredible. The light is staggered back and back and it’s suble but gorgeous. Art for sure, every piece of light is by design.

    Sometimes I put a movie on my ipod and just listen to it. I haven’t ever put a movie in and just watched it. That was cool.

    May all your movie dreams come true.

  89. max

    “I live constantly on the edge of annoying max to the point that she bans me entirely.”

    And then you say something funny like that and how could I?

    Jennifer, isn’t it great? I avoided that movie, I was not expecting to care for it much, and then it turned out to be very wonderful.

  90. At the risk of permanently soiling my reputation…

    I love to listen to movies as well. One of the striking things noted about “Cast Away” was that between the plane crash and the time he’s rescued, you hear nothing but the sounds of the island. It’s amazing to realize what a stark contrast that is to the overproduced audio tracks in so many films.

    On the “light and staging” front, one of my favorite theatrical performances was of “A Christmas Carol,” several years ago. In the scene where Young Ebenezer is talking to Belle about his plans for the future, but things are going awry. In this production, Young Ebenezer was at the bottom of some stairs, Belle was at the top, and Current Ebenezer was standing in-between them, with their dialog going on as if he’s not there. Interspersed with their dialog is his begging with his Young Self to not be an idiot, focused on things, but to no avail.

    I sat, stunned at the layers of emotion that this simple staging made evident. To date, I have never seen such straightforward blocking have such a powerful impact on the interpretation of a scene (including, sadly, productions that I’ve played a role in).


  91. max

    Oh you are ruined for sure now.

  92. Pingback: » My dream lasted all night « California Blogging-My 1983

  93. Did the Blonde Assasin take care of Firm, too? He seems to have disappeared on us! Ok — where are you hiding the body? Time to come clean!

  94. I believe he’s taking some time out, Stil. As to how long, I’m not sure. It could be a while.

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