fifty posts in waiting : part ii
About this writing thing, or more specifically in this environment, this blogging thing, is —
The posts that go on the delete list and then for some reason, usually too much vodka the night before, get posted after all?
They are posts people most admire, most respond to, most consider valuable.
I do not know why everything about me that I consider most discardable is what other people consider most worth saving.
[If you have a psyche degree do not even write I am eschewing even considering ramifications of that thought’s implications or meaning or conclusion.]
That was totally the bird in rain post though. That bird in rain post sat for days. Weeks. A month. I kept shoving it back thinking, maybe not today, maybe not ever, maybe I should just delete that. And so many times I thought, Oh I just will delete it. But did not. And then one night late, tired, and with a couple shots under my belt, I thought, Oh hell with it, and hit “publish.”
And got the most thoughtful and compulsary and complimentary posts in response. That, that post, that I most thought about killing, hit something in other people.