doh moment #3,249,516

I’ve been going —

To Bikram now two months. We do this pose in Bikram where you stand on one leg while holding the other out in front of you. [Let’s call it standing head to knee pose, I can’t spell the real Bikram names.] Both legs are supposed to be straight, and the first time I showed up and we did that, the instructor said, Your legs are supposed to be in an “L,” like Linda.

I figured Linda was a student who got it really right and was a good example who had been going a long time so all the instructors and most of the people in the class knew who she was. There were a couple girls in front who could be her, they had that pose down. But I was spending enough effort keeping those legs in the almost right position sweating in place I just wasn’t going to worry about who Linda was or what she was doing.

Next class, same thing. “Your legs should be in an L, like Linda.” Damn that Linda got around. Next class, same thing. And the next. And the next. For fuck’s sake, I thought, that damn Linda sure takes a lot of yoga classes.

Okay I don’t go to Bikram every day, I make it about 3 times a week. Which for me is pretty good. But it’s been two months now, and Linda is still in every class I take doing that perfect L? I looked around tonight, there was no overlap, none, in the students in front and the students who were in front in the first class I took. There just was no damn Linda.

That’s when I got it. I was completely right. There was no Linda. Every time an instructor said that, they meant “L” like the letter “L” that starts the name “Linda.”

Freaking Linda. I’m going to dream about that bitch.