diet coke and the smile of cerces


la balletI was at a Nicholl lunch —

Talking to Greg and Michelle [Greg runs Nicholl, Michelle is a fellow Nicholl allumni] and Greg looked over at my Diet Coke and said, You know in a study they found people who drink Diet Coke gain weight. Michelle perked up and said oh yeah she heard something about that. And Greg said yeah, something about Diet Coke giving people the illusion they were getting no callories in their beverage making them eat more or drink more or something. And they were really going to town on this and chortling away about dumb Diet Coke drinkers all getting fat [as if] and finally I said, Greg, I do not drink Diet Coke for my weight, I drink Diet Coke for my teeth.

A regular Coca Cola has eight tablespoons of sugar in it. [A regular Pepsi has twelve.] I drink a lot of Coca Cola. Figure a six pack a day. That, if I drink regular Coca Cola, is 48 tablespoons of sugar hitting my teeth with the added fizz factor of a carbonated acidic beverage every day.

Me, I like my teeth. I do not do that to them. My dentist told me if I did, they would melt. [She is strict and scary like that.] I drink the diet stuff instead.

But. Everyone assumes I drink Diet Coke to stay thin.

Anytime I do anything “diet” people assume it is about losing weight. Like the last post tragic escalations. I talk about sugar. And people assume I am dumping sugar to lose weight. I am not. Sugar does not put weight on me. I can live on sugar, I technically have, and lost weight doing it because sugar burns fast. Sugar is simply —

Bad fuel.

I mean really bad fuel.

It is bad for the skin. It is bad for muscle tone and tension. It is definitely bad if you are building and shifting muscle weight because it dicks around with protein [welcome to glycation 101] and gets way in the way of that.

Dumping sugar is not about losing weight. It is about building mass. And not wanting to trash what I am building with bad fuel. [I am not even dumping all sugar either, I am eating fruit and that is sugar, it just works out better than a bag of Almond Joy bars. Damn. It.]

[I am totally going to blow the sugar thing too when Michelle and I hit a movie and get blotto on cocktails Tuesday night alcohol is all sugar too. Damn. It. Again.]

Anyway. Everyone stop sending me diet tips. Jeez.


[ps : aj i so know it is you who sent chocolate]


where the art work comes from :
that is la ballet from arman zhenikeyev

24 Responses to diet coke and the smile of cerces

  1. g’morning max

    shall we talk renal failure in relation to all that soda then? or kidney stones is always a fun topic? *s*

  2. I drink diet soda so that I amass calories elsewhere, as well as help my teeth. A few people (not I) even like the taste better than “regular.” For what it’s worth, I think that the two best tasting diet beverages are RockStar, and Dr. Pepper.

  3. Observations: 1) I love watching folks in the fast food line biggee size their meal and then add a diet coke to it, which of course makes it all right. 2) I took myself off all caffeine during a “body cleanse” period last Winter. Not pretty. 3) Moderation in life is the key. 4) One can diet on almost any single food and lose weight. The jelly bean diet is less healthy than, say, one based on sweet potatoes.

  4. max

    “Moderation” is not a character trait I possess.

  5. with you. sugar is bad fuel. i’ve never heard it stated like that.

    however, do we even want to talk about the naughty stuff that IS in those diet cokes?

    i love, l.o.v.e., coke. i like the way it tastes, feels in my mouth, cascades down my throat…omg. i don’t like the things it does to my body (and i don’t mean weight, either). but, after a little reading about the ‘sweeters’ in the diet stuff, i can’t put that in my body. what’s a guy to do.

    damit. what happened to the days when my uncle told me how peanuts and pepsi was a great snack?

    i drink a lot of water. yet, it just doesn’t tickle my fancy, or my tongue. -sigh-

    not that you asked. ;)

  6. Refined sugar is bad fuel… A term I use myself. The Atkins diet is also bad fuel. We’re not meant to run off of proteins so ketosis is not a good solution. Oh, we can do it, but it’s like running a car on kerosene.

    Artificial sweeteners aren’t good either, nor is the air we breathe, or the water we drink… Yet we live longer higher quality lives now than we ever have in the past despite these things, and despite microwavable popcorn, cellular radiation, and Teflon.

    And man-o-man… Think about how immense some people would be if they went for the liter size regular Coke in addition to the blooming onion! My insurance premiums thank them profusely.

  7. max

    Yes. I know what is in Diet Coke. [It is impossible not to, much like it is politically correct to accost smokers these days, it is also these days politically correct to accost strangers drinking diet soda. I get my revenge by springing at strangers in convenience store lines and shouting the ingredients of Ho Hos at them.]

    [Um, please send bail.]

  8. Harold Snodgrass

    I love you Max…oh, what I mean is I love what you write.

    But if your eyes are the windows to your soul, then if what you write is the window into your mind, that means your thoughts are what I love…does that make me eunuch?

    I have no money for bail.

  9. no bail for you, but i can bake a file into a’re creative, you’ll get out

  10. Sugar in Coke is what nutritionists call “empty calories.”

    Sugar by itself is bad fuel. Sugar in an apple (fructose) carries vitamins with that fuel.

    There is yet another study on diet sodas that came out today.

    But cheers anyway (holding up a can of Diet Dr. Pepper).

  11. aj

    I would never send chocolate nor condone it’s use.

  12. Now me, I just don’t understand why you would drink diet coke over coffee. With or without sugar.

    Mmmm. Coffee.

  13. max

    AJ you totally sent that chocolate to taunt me I know it. Damn heathen.

    Sol, I cannot make coffee. It is curse of the coffee gods. If I even touch a spoon that goes into making coffee the coffee is bad.

    Kitty, sugar in an apple is better but an apple will still spike your sugar if you do not eat something else with it to slow it down.

    You know I am not drinking Diet Coke right now right?

    Just no one touch my cigarettes and we will all get out of here alive. Maybe. [wink]

  14. aj

    This Diet Coke dilemma of yours is sort of like a twisted warp of Karma for all the flaunting of Coke products over the last eight months.

  15. max

    But I have Diet Cokes all frosty and delicious in the fridge and could pop one any time I wanted to.


    [It is not quite the same is it? Sigh.]

  16. max

    [Wait. Reverse food taunting. Hey, AJ, I am eating humos, cottage cheese, and plain yogurt. Want some?]


  17. aj

    Wow, you just covered three of my most detested foods in one food taunt.

    See, this no chocolate and diet coke is not good for you. Your crappy-food-we-all-need-for-survival levels are low and you are lashing out at the first innocent and frail civilian you come by.

  18. max

    “Innocent and frail” my ass.

  19. You’re not drinking Diet Coke now, like right this minute. Right?
    Or do you mean you’ve given it up?

  20. max

    I had one a couple days ago. But I am on hiatus from Diet Coke. Not forever. Just for now.

  21. sulya

    I’m thinking I should start watching the markets and paying attention to that guy with the cardboard sign speaking about the end of the world being “nigh”…

  22. max

    Well I do have will power. There are just very very few things I will use it for.

  23. The Old Man drinks Diet Coke all morning all afternoon and all evening. He is a hard core addict.

    I dislike soda for the most part. It’s only recently I’ve begun drinking it because of HIM. I can never drink a whole one though. So I have a ton of half empty cans laying around and I think – what a waste of money.

    My nephew begs me not to drink the diet stuff because he says it is bad for your bones. Anyway, Max, I won’t lecture you about soda, you don’t lecture me about Bazooka gum and licorice sticks.

    Good luck with the alcohol though lol

  24. max

    Oh well tonight rocked tonight was my night off to go out and hit a movie with a girl friend so no rules and I got sake AND Diet Coke. Yay!

    Also the movie rocked it is Sunshine and a whole lot of fun.

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