deep breathes


hi keyOh my God.

I am so committed.

Actually I was committed when I turned in that application form and when I canceled seeing any other places to wait and see if I got this place which for me was THE place and also when I handed over the deposits I mean it is not like I was not committed.

But it feels much more committed when I have ordered the boxes and set dates for all the utility companies to switch things over and turned in change of address forms and also given up Vonage because hello the new internet service provider has a snarkey ip phone policy which means sure you can use someone else’s ip phone service but if you do your whole bill will be a whopper because everything else costs more then even though going in Vonage is a better deal after they get through it is not [that is sly] and and and —

I am so bad at commitment. It is not the moving that is problematic or being somewhere new it is putting my name on all these things that say yes I am bound to a decision here for a long long time.

I do not think I have ever quite recovered from that… marital… event. That was a commitment for until someone died and wow did that go wrong — though no one died so I guess not worst case — and I never believed it would when I made it. Also when I was trapped in Seattle after the real estate crash and could not get out because of all these signatures on all these pieces of paper that bound me to property that was going to cost a soul and then some to sell off — if I even could.

When I did get out of Seattle my Dad came up to help me drive down and when we crossed the Washington border we cheered. [No offense Washington people it is a lovely state I just really really hate being trapped.]

It is Saturday night maybe cocktails are in order.


*what is really cool though is i could sit down at the computer on a weekend and have everything done by the end of the day — everything and never even pick up a phone how cool is that?


where the art work comes from :
that is hi key by andy tzur

10 Responses to deep breathes

  1. I raise my glass to you. Moving was the best thing I ever did. I still can’t believe how quiet my new place is. I can actually write without interruption. I had a guy down the hall from me who used to audition pole dancers in his apartment. I’m not exaggerating. Everyday I say to myself: I’m in the South Bay, yay!

  2. max

    “I had a guy down the hall from me who used to audition pole dancers in his apartment. I’m not exaggerating.”

    Oh my God. That is hilarious. I mean not to live with but as a story.

  3. The pole dancer thing would only be good if I were invited to give my opinion…

  4. max

    Wait. What kind of pole dancer are we talking about here?

  5. I’m glad you cheered- like when I moved back to Washington my Dad didn’t cheer- he talked a lot about this show he saw about Nostradamus and his end of the world prophecies


  6. max

    This is the dad who is a chef right?

  7. conundrum

    A beautifully written poignant message perfectly accessorized by the picture of the keys at the lock.


  8. californiablogging

    Nice post Max. Good luck in your new place.

  9. Usually those who fear and think deeply about making a committment are the ones who keep them.
    Great post, Max.

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