dare food


koiYou know just how hungry —

People have been in the past by what it is they eat. People talk about the Irish famines? Come on, the Irish ate potatoes. Is that famine? Hell no. That is French fries. Those Irish were living it up as far as famines go and Jonathan Swift aside let me tell you, if the worst thing you ever ate in your life when you were hungry is a potatoe well you are on easy street Patrick.

Now haggis, you know just looking at haggis [do not put that in your mouth, no, stop, don’t, ahhh!] the Scotts got real hungry. No one would eat haggis if they were not real real hungry.

[I think of haggis as dare food. You know, something people dared you to eat just to see if you would? Like those stories my dad told about swallowing live goldfish — thanks, Dad, I am still traumatized — maybe had bucks riding on whether or not you would? And then a famine hit and oops, you ate it for real? And were hungry long enough, you just freaking forgot, hello, do not put that in your mouth, that is dare food.]

And then there is borscht. That is beet soup. No one in their right mind would make beet soup unless he or she was really really hungry. [Yeah, one guess where the stone soup stories come from.] So I guess the Russians get in there too.

I would mention kimchi here [which I cannot even spell sorry kimchi fans — um, roughly translated “kimchi fans” means people from outer space] but that has not been even denoted as a real food yet N.A.S.A. scientists are still wondering about its origins and whether those origins are on Earth so forget kimchi it is not food it is an alien experiment.


The winner take all in the these-people-were-once-hungry department is:


God bless the Swedes. Those people must have been really starving.

Love and Kisses,

Your Lutefisk is Not Food Adams Girl


where this came from :
seemaxrun thoughts 2003

where the art comes from :
that is koi bw by dalkeithlass

9 Responses to dare food

  1. I would eat lutefisk. I am a Cajun, we eat everything.

  2. Well, I eat borsht Max. But I am Russian by descent, and Jewish, so it is in my genes.

    The trick to borsht? Eat it ice cold, with a dollop of sour cream. [i am not kidding – really].

  3. max

    Yes, well, you know what that trick means? The people who first ate borscht were in Siberia and the milk had gone bad. Poor bastards.

  4. I’m sorry but you’ve just made me really hungry (you said the magic words – kimchee!) and now I can’t read the rest of your recent entries until I eat. Now, I don’t want to look fat in my dress tonight, so if I do, it’s all your fault, Max!

    Happy New Year and lots of kimchee! (You may stink if you eat it days on end like I did one magical summer when I got stoned and played video games ’til five a.m. but look on the bright side – you’ll keep away undesirable men, too)!

  5. max

    Oh no. Not the kimchee. Don’t do it Stilletto Girl! Not on New Year’s Eve. Who will you kiss at midnight?

  6. Indy

    /okay, not that I have nothing better to do than nerd around in your archives, but/

    Isn’t the whole point of the Irish Potato Famine (hence the word “Famine”) that one year, they had all the potatos their starchy selves could eat, and then the next year, all the potato plants died and people were fucking starving in the street?

    /and Kimchee is actually really good as a sort of saurkraut replacement in hotdogs and stuff.

  7. max

    Okay clearly you are confused you seem to think the potatoe famine had a point.

    Good luck.

  8. I have Swedish friends in Minnesota. They love lutefisk. They also cook sprouts in maple syrup. I can’t draw any conclusions from this.

  9. Max

    The Swedes must have been so hungry. Bless their hearts.

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