socksI am totally tired.

This may be because it is 6:00 am.

Or because I appear to be facing armies of darkness again.

News I wait on does not come.

I am upheaved by events and peoples outside of my control.

My lease is up November 3.

My erudite management is already making moves on a huge and quite possibly illegal deposit.

I find myself attempting to charm landlords before I even should just because they are in possession of property that to me is desirable, yet I have done this before and one thing I [should have] learned is, possession of wildly desirable taste does not mean someone is sane.

[This was learned the hard way watching a seemingly sane person turn on water faucets and gas appliances, and wander out into the street failing to turn any of them off.]

Yet I am considering the roommate route again because, hello, I practically live with my nieghbors now and at least if I pick someone to move in with, it might be desirable over living with people building management picks to put next to me, above me, and below me.

Oh. Also, the people who came and took the television away to fix a week ago? [Becaue it was not apparently fixed the first time? Sigh.] Today I called and said, Hello, you took the TV away a week ago and have not yet given me an estimate maybe you want to get on that? And the nice girl named Sue said she would call me back in an hour, and, doy, did not.

This means people are holding my TV hostage, not reliable, and who knows when or if they will actually attempt to fix it.

What ultimately happens here is, I go into a spiral when this many pressures are hitting me. I know I have to move. I know I have to break my [not working] TV/DVD player out. I know I have to deal with my freak building management attempting to impose illegal new charges against my deposit since they sort of probably now have figured out I am moving. And I also have to deal with fun Spidey Guy appearing regularly outside my window hanging upside down, sort of a surprise since you know, he lives with Registered Sex Offender before-they-turn-fourteen Guy and I am way above fourteen. And Sex Offender Guy standing on the street finding the only possible view into my loft from the opposite side of the street and standing there staring. And Faux Record Guy purposefully stopping me on the stairs to demand to know what “Faux Record Guy” means. [Doy, Faux Record Guy, it has not changed since the last two times you figured out I was going to be coming up the stairs and conveniently located yourself blocking my access to the door.] And Upstairs Neighbor Guy’s “dance student” girls wandering in at 4 am without keys and lilting up to the balcony above me, Let us in let us in. [Listen, at this point I do not care whether they are vampires or prostitutes, just give them freaking keys already I would like to sleep.] Meanwhile, I turn off my phone every night so bizzaro visitors do not hit the first name on the buzzer, hello, “Adams,” at all hours to demand to be buzzed in. [“A” is such a problematic first letter, sigh.] And then of course I forget to turn the phone back on, so miss calls.


The only thing saving me is, I do not lose the desire to floss and brush my teeth. This is freakishly inborn and once that forces me onwards, well, I just live with the Guild calling me up with weird cryptic messages about not working for people who want to buy my script and my agent not calling me with news I should have had weeks ago and the freak Floor Three people being out of control and —

Fuck it. I am just tired. More iron.



16 Responses to cripes

  1. No to the roomate- I mean, some people need their space and I’m willing to bet you’re one of those people Max.

    The rest looks like a plan- esp. the Iron part


  2. max

    I like having roommates, it pulls me out of the silent zone. Which I spend way too much time in. I do real well in group environments. I do not like having unsane roommates, which throws me into their crazed zone.

  3. Then find those roomates, if you’re not a solitary person – wow close but not with people can really be bad.

    Me, I like being alone- I do well for awhile in groups and then I get overwhelmed and then I’m just…I don’t know I short out.

    It’s weird.

    Don’t go there- run the ad, find a friend whatever it takes.

  4. max

    I do pretty well in both scenarios. They are flip sides of each other and I can always close a door. Well usually.

    What I need before it starts to make me weird is to get out of here. This place, this constant bombardment from outside that there is no closing a door on, that just keeps coming and mutating and escalating, that is making me get weird. Like it was a suprise a new person in the building was polite. It should not be a surprise someone is polite. My cousin visited and she is gregarious and just says hello to people and I told her, Do not say hello to anyone unless I speak to them first. And it hit me, that there is something really wrong with that, that the people I live with in this building are a threat to the point I will tell my cousin not to speak to people on the stairs without a safety lead. This is not good. This is bad. This is effecting me and my perspective of other people.

  5. My Sister lived in Alabama for a few months and she was just hounding me to come see her, so in a off-hand way I say, ‘Okay, but is it safe? ‘

    and she goes, ” Of course, I just don’t go out alone or at night. ”

    She didn’t laugh.

    That just made my blood turn to ice.

  6. max

    I do not take the alley here after dark. A guy got killed in that alley and Mark called it murder alley. There are a lot of people here though, more than there were in Belltown after dark. Some real scary stuff went down in Belltown after dark.

  7. I think it may be time to move.

  8. max

    Well yea. Not because of the alley though. Because my new new neighbor does not have a day job and plays computer boxing game matches with the volume totally amped — when he is not playing computer games with scary horking dragon monsters screaming death knells at triple volume. Jeez.

  9. californiablogging

    Wow. You really face your problems straight on. I’ve been “wine tasting” and chasing my soul mate on the eharmony free trail. I recommend it but I don’t think it would have done much for your list of troubles. You might try castle keepers or Mansion minders. You get to live cheap in luxury until they can sell the place. I hope, everything can still work out well, I am keeping the faith.

  10. max

    It is probably like one of Sulya’s posts. I have an optimistic and highly unrealistic expectation things will work and be simple and when they do not and are not I am chagrined.

  11. initiate

    How long have you lived in that building? If you’ve lived there 2 years or longer, they can’t take money out for regular fixing of stuff like re-painting, carpet, etc. I sued the holy shit out of a landlord of mine in CA and won my deposit back plus some bonus cash because they were shady fuckers.

  12. max

    I will have been here two years when the lease is up. I think they are bending a lot of rules using a commercial contract for a live/work loft. I think more than one they cannot legally bend.

  13. initiate

    You know my email if you’d like to bounce an idea or two off me. The roommate I sued my rental company with (a big company in San Diego that’s known for fucking over college students) is still in CA and still has lawyerly contacts to check up on rules n’ such.

  14. max

    Thank you, Initiate.

  15. Mark S.

    “when he is not playing computer games with scary horking dragon monsters screaming death knells at triple volume. Jeez”

    Jesus Christ, Max. Please quit it before my ribs collapse. You have a wicked sense of humour.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with everyone online. This is my first time to your site and will definitely read more. Your writing style is so accomplished in the way it flows from mind to hand and represents your thoughts and personality that it reminds me of Virginia Woolf. (if you haven’t, check her unedited personal writings to see what a sharp and funny tongue she had)

    Best of luck with your apartment hunting and other distractions. Those writers who can produce no matter the circumstances are very fortunate. I’d like to see Henry James handle a blog, a screenwriting career, and everything that’s going on in your life!) When I get too busy I just give up writing and play some online blitz chess or watch a film noir to kill time before I can jump in bed and sleep away the world.

  16. max

    Oh Mark I like you already.

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