It is crazy —
The last time I worked this hard on any sort of campaign was March 2007, when I was fighting really hard to get information out on the emergency pet food recall. That saved a lot of pets and I felt good about doing it. When I push that hard for something for myself, though, I always feel guilty. I think this comes from coming from pilgrim forebears who sort of pound into you anything that is promoting yourself is wrong and anything artistic is frivolous and you should really put your energies into churning butter – quietly – and not talk too much about yourself.
But this video matters to me.
I knew it mattered to me when over the weekend before the deadline I shut down, just shut down, because I had told myself I did not have time to make a fun video and submit it I needed to just put my head down and work. And it was true, I did not have time, but —
I stopped work. Really, just shut down and could not work. Just stomped around all weekend thinking, I need to work, what is wrong with me, why can’t I sit down and just work? And finally it hit me, Holy crap, this is pouting!
I did not even know I did pout or knew how to pout. But that is totally what it was, my head just said, Fine, you can try to just not do this fun video that might even result in a fun job and good pay AND fun you can try to not do anything fun at all you can just try to work and work and work and ONLY work and say that is all life is about but the rest of us — you know, your brain and your body — are quitting on you if you do that. And how long do you think you can hold out against that Work Girl?
So I made this short video. I did the imagery and lay out and arrangement and special effects and filters and tracks put it all together and I did the music which is pretty much the coolest part for me because that is the one thing I never work with so a big hurdle. And I had a hell of a lot of fun doing it. And had to pull three all nights after to make up for the time it cost me doing it. And it matters to me. I mean, I may not win, the people running the winery may not even be looking for exactly what I did or am, it is different from what other people did, but I like it and I loved doing it and I would like to at least make the top 50 cut. Even though I came in way late during the last days you could submit and know other people up there have been up for weeks getting votes and it is a long shot. I would like to do that.
Go vote for the video. It matters to me.