max solves the national financial crisis

  Everyone is worried — About a national financial crisis. I do not think we have a crisis at all. Everyone knows where the national treasury is. Doy. Sitting in a Haliburton vault. I say we crack that baby open and use those tax payer bucks for what they were intended for. That should not […]


late nights at the arclight

  I light a cigarette backwards. This is when I know maybe the two cadillac margaritas I have had are enough to drink. I disregard this and order another. My friend does not. She has to drive. I do not. I can be reckless. Our waiter does not approve. He hated us when we arrived. […]


why we are falling into the sea

  My favorite theory — For why California is going to fall into the ocean is the National Geographic Theory. It goes like this : Everyone in California gets National Geographic. No one throws away National Geographic. Garages are filling with National Geographic up and down the fault line and one day, poof, they will […]


bad attitude

  I am walking — Along Hollywood Boulevard. I am at the corner of Highland where all the street performers perform in between being rousted by cops for blocking traffic and getting in the way of lost bodies swarming a metro bus stop. Two of the performers have a little organ set up and are […]


unfortunate moment #4,293

  It was — One of those long drives I used to do on Hiway 10. Usually going from parts Louisiana or Texas headed parts home to California. It was night. The road was lonely. And [cover your eyes Great Aunt Agnes] I really had to pee. I mean really. Like wet your pants really. […]


bad cheezeburger cat bad

  Okay I feel bad about that dancing cat thing [not really] so to make it up to you [I so needed an excuse to post this] I bring you an exposé on the cheeseburger cat.     *you did not know the lolcat worked for the empire did you?   where i found that […]