best movie review in history of the worldz

This is the funnest most bestest movie review ever. And totally the kind of movie review I would write if I could write movie reviews. Which I can’t because if you do that everyone in Hollywood gets mad and you can never work again. Probably even posting THIS movie review will get me black listed somewhere.

[Shut up, Hollywood. It is funny.]

I saw Tarzan and this is my review after some wines
~ by Emily from the blog EmilyWrites

So I had wine and I am very tired and so I am a bit tipsy but I saw the Tarzan movie so I thought I’d give my honest review.
Excuse typos because you know, wines.

Ok so I don’t know what the plot is or who is in it other than Alexander Skarsgard and Alexander Skarsgard’s magnificent holy abs. I don’t know what the dialogue or acting is like or whatever.

But like 1/3 of the way in Alexander Skarsgard is going to fight a gorilla for some reason and he takes off his shirt and OMG LIKE I ACTUALLY GROANED LOUDLY.
He does not put his shirt back on for the whole movie.

And like The V. sweet mother Mary the V I am telling you. The v is worth $15. The V is worth so much I wanted to see the movie again straight afterward.
Did I say that he doesn’t put his shirt back on?

:::continue reading:::