bargains with eros
Sulya is blogging about love.
Sulya always has smart to say about that love stuff.
I do not.
Sometimes when someone is in trouble I can see real clear and tell them things that might save them. But mostly will not. Survival instincts are impaired by love.
I write love stories. Dark love stories. People die. But they are love stories. And those are smart. I think. Other people think so.
But general thoughts on love? What I know is a short list:
Morning people and night people do not mix. Sleep tangled with me people and I need my own air space people do not mix. Nothing hurts worse than wanting someone who does not want you back. The biggest relationship killer is losing respect for your partner. People who accuse you of things you would never do would do those things. Never get involved with someone who does not like you. “I love you now change everything” is the stupidest and most common love crime on Planet Earth. Speed dial does not equal love.
That is it. My wisdom on love.
Oh. And one other thing: If being with someone turns you into someone you do not like or even know you should walk away.
But you mostly will not.*
*refer to “survival instincts are impaired by love”
35 Responses to bargains with eros
Sulya’s insights on love are always so smart and thoughtful.
“People who accuse you of things you would never do would do those things” – this is something I never thought about. Makes sense if someone accuses you of thinking or doing something, it came from somewhere inside themselves. A whole new perspective.
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For me, Max, the biggest relationship killer is losing respect for yourself in order to stay in the relationship.
I like your point about morning/ night people and such. I don’t think it’s going to work if basically you don’t have the basic things in common.
B says that someone has to take the leadership in the partnership.
I am undecided if whether my instinctive irritation with this is because I really don’t agree with it, or because B is a man and it offends what I think should be a role of a modern woman in a relationship.
Mind you, my best friend agrees and she’s a woman.
Both Best Friend and B are Aries, of course.
Does the woman best friend who agrees think her partner takes the leadership or that she does?
Max, I did not post the link to my blog. I don’t know how that happened. I specifically tried to post my own thoughts on my site so that you wouldn’t get offended. (Damn it, I am more defensive with someone that I’ve never seen before than I am with anyone in any other aspect of my life. This is getting annoying to me and I know that you’re fed up with it. This is the part where I should just shut up and sit down.)
*shutting up and sitting down*
That is a ping back Richard. If you link to a specific post on someone’s blog, your post sends a ping back to the post you linked to.
Thanks for clearing that up.
By the way, I am so appalled you are posting what appears to be some sort of personal ad on my behalf encouraging not smart not attractive men to throw themselves at me I am left somewhat stymied on how to respond to that.
Max Adams, you are absolutely infuriating. First of all, if you read it again, you’ll see that it’s not about having not smart, not attractive men throw themselves at you — it’s about not understanding how someone like you has not become the focal point of some guy’s universe.
“So, guys, take a look around and see if you can’t spot a Max Adams in your own life — someone that you’re drawn to and frightened of at the same time. She might be smarter than you, she might be more beautiful than you, she might be deeper than you — and chances are that she’ll be all those things.”
That’s the quote. Notice I used the phrase “a Max Adams.” And what is a Max Adams — someone who is smart and beautiful and deep and probably out of some guy’s league. Guess what? Just about every woman out there is out of some guy’s league. That post was designed so that if some guy reading it looked around he might just decide to take a chance on someone he might otherwise have decided to let go.
This wasn’t just about you, Max. It was about all the Max Adams out there — the women I see who are absolutely amazing. Yeah, I know. I don’t know anything about you. I get all that. I’m not an idiot — even though that might be how I sometimes come across.
It was about the guys, too — the ones who are not realizing the potential that’s out there. It’s wanting them to surrender their egos and realize that the greatest thing in the world to do is to find someone who is such a force of the universe that words can’t even begin to describe it.
As for how you respond, Max, you say, “Richard, I am flattered that you think so highly of me that you want the world to know how great I am, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d just keep your comments to yourself, before I send Vinnie and Guido over to have a talk with both your kneecaps.”
Well probably I am guilty of making everything about me when my name appears in a title and more than five times in the body of a post I am just prone to whacky mistakes like that.
Also there are not many Max Adams. There is one Max Adams. And she is I. Get it straight.
I am and have been the focal point of many mens’ attentions. They are not the focal point of mine and I am too kind to publicly mock or demean men whose only crime is desiring me when I do not desire them.
[With the exception of Breadsticks Guy. He deserved it. And maybe you. You are pushing it.]
I am not Italian and do not hang with Guidos and Vinnies. I do however have a weakness for the Irish who tend to blow things up rather than break fingers and I may talk to some nice boys named Sean and Patrick if you ever again attempt to dictate to me how I may or should respond to your egregious attentions.
Max, just for the record, and so that we’re all on the same page here — I do not desire you. Only a fool desires that which can destroy him. I admire your talent and the gift you have with words. I like the feelings of friendship you instill in those around you. I respect your “take no prisoners” attitude. But when I find myself on the receiving end of the phrase “egregious attentions,” I find myself having to leave the field. I might be many things, Max Adams — stupid, moronic, infantile, stubborn, arrogant, cocky, insecure, lost, defensive — but when my attentions are put into the “egregious” category, that’s too much. Therefore, notice is hereby given to you, Max Adams, that henceforth and until such time as Hell freezes over and the universe sees fit to bring back ANGEL for one last season, I, Richard Morgan, being of somewhat sound mind and body, am hereby placing myself in voluntary exile. These will be the last words that I post here.
You still rock, though.
Wow.
I am agog.
Um. Yez.
Anway…
Best Friend thinks she is, and is, the leader in her twosome. B thinks he is, or should be, the leader in ours.
To be fair, he doesn’t say it has to be the man, it just has to be him. I’m just not sure I’m supposed to allow it. I suspect my relationship wisom outght to be ‘decide whose in charge and then decide if you can live with that’.
Damn all typos.
Damn Rich, I’ve never seen someone dig a bottomless hole and stage cash car crash at the same time. Hell of a sight.
“Only a fool desires that which can destroy him”
Defiantly not Irish.
Yeah…what AJ Valliant said.
amm
Maybe it is an Aries thing, Solnushka. Though just by you saying “allow” you know you are implying final authority right?
Morning people and night people do not mix. Sleep tangled with me people and I need my own air space people do not mix. Nothing hurts worse than wanting someone who does not want you back. The biggest relationship killer is losing respect for your partner. People who accuse you of things you would never do would do those things. Never get involved with someone who does not like you. “I love you now change everything” is the stupidest and most common love crime on Planet Earth. Speed dial does not equal love.
I need to print this out and BLOW IT UP. And keep a small copy in my wallet.
Irish…eight out of ten are alcoholics I hear.
Jeez. You just slammed 80% of the population of an entire country.
Actually I have heard this from many people. I even heard it this weekend. I bet the Irish would concur.
Come on, how many countries have days celebrating drinking?
http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/alcoholics-anonymous-reviews/2007/03/survey-finds-irish-are-worst-bingers-in.html
I take that back. How many countries have holidays celebrating binge drinking?
Well, gee, every Scandinavian country [where thy sing about drinking too], all the Germanics, every country in the Eastern Block, the U.S., Greece, France, England….
This is going to be a real long list. I think I need more protein.
How could I forget about Oktoberfest? True true. I knew this would come back to bite me on my ass. In fact I felt so bad for implying the Irish were a nation of drunks that I wanted to be beaten down lol
I wonder what Denis Leary would say. Probably something real nasty.
Only if he is drinking.
har har true!
I love his show Rescue Me.
He is one dirty (but sexy) bastard.
Uh oh..I feel a You Tube Leary search coming on…
The Ref is one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made. Dennis Leary. Yay!
I have not seen The Ref. I’ll check it out. Like, right now.
He is one dirty (but sexy) bastard.
Sort of like our AJ lol
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well that about does it. If you know that about love you got the world by the balls. Most people do not know that.