babies kill tv
But I have never watched a series television show that did not tank after a baby showed up. Except for maybe the exception of the Helen Hunt romance show which somehow escaped that to survive a little longer after it turned into “we have a baby.” Hmm. But overall? Once a baby shows up, a TV show’s days are totally numbered. This dates all the way back to Murphy Brown. [And probably before but that is how long I have been paying attention.] Murphy Brown was barreling along, a real hot show. Then Murphy turned out to be an alcoholic who had to quit drinking [bummer, Murphy] and then — she had a baby.
Boom. Dead man walking.
I have a theory about how this all goes down. You have a bunch of struggling writers. They work and work, they are edgy, they are hungry, they work too hard, they drink too hard, they can’t get married OR have babies, they are broke struggling writer types. And then they pull off the big gold ring: They are a team on a hit show. Yay!
Flash forward a few years.
What do people who are fat and happy do the second they have a secure future they were never sure they would have? They marry the girl, they buy the house, they have —
[I am talking about guys here too, not girls. The majority of TV show writers are guys and this is just how it goes down with them.]
Writers write what they know. A few years into the show they all have babies. Now that is what is on their minds. They are not thinking fun show stuff any more. They are thinking —
The wife stuff. The house stuff. The marriage stuff. The baby stuff. And, for a few of them? The quit drinking and partying stuff.
That is when the show dies. When the show team loses its edge. When the show writers are all fat, happy, married, not drinking, having babies — and writing about those damn babies.
That is my theory anyway.
Note to the Supernatural team: WTF? Marriage and Babies? Seriously? Is Bobby going to join AA next?
I give you one more season.