a squirrel story for sulya
Also clearly it is squirrel week [or month hmm] and also for some reason I cannot exactly remember I thought Sulya should have a squirrel story :
squirrels are better than t.v.
So I am on the phone, on this business call. There are these two squirrels who live in the yard. They are cute and just recently have gotten real curious about me. They come up low branches on this lemon tree outside the door to stare in at me.
“What’s she doing?”
“Staring at the box again.”
“What’s she doing now?”
“Staring at us.”
So I am on the phone and the squirrels come up and are looking in through the open door when Jones jumps out the door.
[Jones is my nefarious cat who loves me and hates all others.]
The squirrels jump.
[To really put this in perspective you have to get Jones is a fluffy white Himalayan who weighs about eight pounds when he is wet so, you know, like a total designer cat? Only a designer cat from the street so tough as hell and scared of nothing, which is probably why we got along so well we were alike that way, “Sure, I weigh a hundred pounds and have French tips but fuck with me buddy and you will lose an esophogus — that attitude kind of worked for us so anyway — ]
Then I am not sure what happened exactly. Either the squirrels grabbed a lemon and threw it at Jones, or the squirrels jumped hard enough a lemon was propelled from a limb at faster than light speed at Jones. Either way —
Jones is jumping. Tree limbs are jumping. Squirrels are jumping. This lemon is zinging —
Whap, it hits the ground where Jones just was and the squirrels run straight up the tree branch, lunge a chasm, and hit the roof running.
[This is what eight reindeer on a roof sound like at Mach V.]
I have no idea what the person on the phone thought was happening.
I was laughing too hard to find out.