project move goes tragically awry
Okay. Project Move (to "Nice Safe Sleepy Seattle") has gone tragically awry.
First there was WTO. Tear gas fun for everyone. Yay!
And by the way the reports and graphs have all been drawn up and the WTO Accountability Review Committee -- that is really its name -- says WTO Unhinged was the fault of Mayor Paul Schell, international-trade boosters, police officials, demonstrators and the City Council and they did not say Max Adams once so there.
Then there was THE MAD BOMBER. He was a festive guy, he planned to contribute to New Year's Eve fireworks by --
BLOWING UP THE SPACE NEEDLE.
Jeez. Me, I thought Y2K was excitement enough for one New Year's Eve and was not in the spirit of things at all and just could not get behind the extra fireworks aspect of Mad Bomber Guy's plan. Also I was wondering what his blast radius was since I can see the Space Needle out my window and would maybe want to tape windows or something if he had especially big blast plans. They arrested him though -- whew! -- so so much for his festive contribution. Except --
MAD BOMBER GUY'S PARTNER was running amock still maybe planning to continue festiveness without him. That made New Year's Eve interesting waiting to see if the computer would blow up or if the Space Needle would blow up and basically it was an evening with champagne waiting to see if things WOULD blow up.
But they did not. And that passed. Whew! Shortly to be followed by --
PROTESTORS. Jeez. I have never seen so many people protesting so many things in one place in my life. People here really take their civic duty seriously. They protest EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. (Do they get this is Washington "State" not "D.C." and President Clinton IS NOT HERE or did that one just sort of sail by?) I am especially aware of this because apparently the best place in the whole city to protest is ON THE CORNER OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM and the best time to do it is 7 A.M. SUNDAY MORNING.
Um, Dear Protesters: Waking me Sunday at 7 a.m. with a bullhorn and expecting me to even be sympathetic to your cause is the stupidest idea on earth and maybe in the galaxy or whole universe. I hate you. I hate your cause. I hate your mother. I hate your father. I hate your sister. I hate your brother. I hate your children. I hate the doctor who brought you into the world. I hate your dog. I have joined a group in support of Chemtrails just to thwart you. I am lobbying for anti-safety gun laws just to thwart you. I am burning spotted owls in effigy just to thwart you. I am writing Bill Clinton speeches for free just to thwart you. If you ever wanted an unsympathetic response from a member of the citizenry of the United States you got it outside my bedroom window 7 a.m. Sunday morning with a bullhorn and as soon as I find out where you live I am going to return the favor on my time table and I get perky at 3 a.m. you morning fiends.
Jeez. Protestors. They are not just for breakfast anymore.
Now though, we have new and improved excitements in Seattle: VIOLENT YOUTHS.
The violent youths travel Belltown (I live in Belltown so where else would they travel?) in a pack after dark and attack unwary pedestrians and beat the bejeezus out of them. August 31st, they beat the bejeezus out of six different unwary pedestrians in one night so I guess the violent youths are all eating their Wheaties every morning because that just sounds like it takes energy and stamina to me. Wow. Police can't catch the violent youths either because I guess wandering around well lit city streets in a pack beating up people in clear view is stealthy hard to spot behavior and Belltown is really big, it is at least ten square blocks, which has got to make it really difficult too.
So the beatings continue.
Every night.
It is important to note though police do not think the violent youths have anything to do with the young man who was mugged and raped the other night by male assailants in bushes by the library or with the young woman strangled dead and raped the other night in an alley. Those were different because those attackers who were immediately caught made an effort to conceal their activities in bushes and dark alleys so they were spotted right off.
I would be worried for my safety maybe except the papers say no one should be alarmed about any of this because CRIME LEVELS IN BELLTOWN ARE NOT RISING. THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS JUST AS SAFE AS IT EVER WAS.
Whew! Thank goodness. I thought maybe I SHOULD be worried packs of violent youths were beating pedestrians senseless and sometimes dead on the sidewalks and young women and men were being dragged into alleys and bushes and strangled and raped too but I guess not because BELLTOWN IS JUST AS SAFE AS IT EVER WAS.
Good thing.
Love and Kisses,
That Adams Girl
PS: There is nothing odd about that other report in the paper that suggests IT IS BELLTOWN'S OWN FAULT FOR REFUSING TO JOIN THE METROPOLITAN IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT. That could not be related to hard to track down youths beating people senseless on Belltown sidewalks and does not look odd because Belltown is just as safe as it ever was and no one wants anyone in Belltown to pay extra taxes to join an organization for protection police already provide.
PPS: Old (recovered, yay!) Word pastes text tables into html documents just fine.
PPPS: You can respond to "Thoughts" at Click This.
